Today I stand above and look down at this diamond. I can almost see through it. Yesterday I could. Tomorrow I will be off to the right side, slowly turning.
And yet, I can not seem to grasp it in my mind. The totality of it.
The meaning.
The inner heart of the stone.
No matter how much I study, I will not remember how the light hits that corner just perfectly, or how this angle shows the dark places within the stone. Tomorrow I will have forgotten all of these things, and will wake up to look at it as with new eyes. It will be the rock blocking my path, or the beauty distracting my walk, or the small pebble I pass unnoticed. Always different, always changing, these diamond-issues.
Sometimes it seems like there will never be enough emotional realizations or moments of clarity to conquer this puzzle. I think with time, with silence and peace, with the veil of distractions falling away, I could come close, but then the light shifts and I realize the mysteries of the stone, like the mystery of life, is unsolvable.
*****
As I look out over a new year, and I think about choosing one word (I'm still undecided) or making resolutions, I'm hit with the reality that there are some things that can't be planned or perfected. Some mysteries that can't be solved. And some lessons that have to happen over and over again - and maybe even then we don't really learn them. Not fully. So, while I know some of the simple answer like what 2+2 equals and how many doughnuts to eat (all of them), I'm giving myself grace on those bigger questions and harder lessons today. They will still be there tomorrow, and I can try again to fully understand their mysteries.
Tracie, couldn't agree more and glad you are cutting yourself some slack on the greater mysteries in this life and hoping you are having a great 2015 so far!! ;)
ReplyDeleteThe first section of this was beautifully worded, and the 2nd section wise. That's already a really good start. :-)
ReplyDeleteYes, they will still be there tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteEver new angles and facets and realizations.
By the way, Des' motto is to always eat all the doughnuts.
Some mysteries will never be solved. I have to agree that all the doughnuts need to be eaten lol
ReplyDeleteIt's so freeing when we realize that we don't have to know all the answers, and very exciting to know that there is always a new facet to discover. It's okay to be unsure of things.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes. All the doughnuts. :)
There will be many tomorrows and many mysteries before us all. I try to follow God's lead for answers.
ReplyDeleteI decided to not pick a word but to write what my resolutions are not about while realizing that even that doesn't work out. Yes, all the doughnuts. Happy new year.
ReplyDeleteI am one of those people who takes life one day at a time so I can't be bothered with resolutions
ReplyDeleteYes. Eat all the donuts. ALWAYS.
ReplyDeleteHow I'm glad I don't need all of the answers...and don't need all of the doughnuts either (boo)... Great post!
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful and SO wise and mature of you to allow yourself the peace with which to let go and not dive into deeper things, questions, discoveries...
ReplyDeleteSometimes when we give up working on resolve and answers, it comes to us ever so gently and clearly. Thank you for this reminder, that we don't always have to be trying to solve all the mysteries of life.... but rather we can allow them to wash over us with no need to investigate further. In perfect time, it somehow is revealed.
Mmmmm donuts.
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you, my dear, for giving yourself the space to not have to have all the answers. I'm trying to do the same.
Beautiful, Tracie. I love the idea that there are many angles. This gives me some encouragement today. A day when I can only see one side...
ReplyDeleteso gorgeous and so true. Funny - I study my actual diamond in case it ever falls out and I want to recognize it which I never will maybe, and I study my life the same way. Love this.
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