Don't Trap Me In A Glass Box

I found the worst possible gift idea at the mall yesterday. The sign said they were 3D laser engraved crystal picture cubes, but that description doesn't fully explain what I saw.

As we drew near the display, I heard Thomas say, "Awesome! What a great Christmas gift idea!" as a shudder of fear swept across my body.

Staring up at me was row after row of little people trapped in glass boxes.



I quickly whispered to Thomas, "If this was a movie, and we leaned close to the cubes, we would be able to hear tiny screams from the people trapped inside."

Thomas' response that we were not in a movie did nothing to allay my fears.

I could feel the eyes of the trapped 3D people staring at me, following me as I walked around the kiosk. It looked like they were smiling, but I knew inside the cubes they were screaming: "Help! Help! Let us out!" and "Save us! SAVE US!"

Although I was scared the salesman with the dark, almost robotic eyes was going to suck me into a little glass cube, I quickly stepped close enough to snap a couple of pictures. (Just like the time I nearly died in the quicksand pit of death, I put your blog reading enjoyment above my personal safety.)



As you can see, it isn't just the people in your life you need to be worried about; they are trapping pets, too. Dogs. Cats. There is even a dolphin up there in the top row. That poor dolphin just wants to swim free in the open ocean, but he is destined to live out the rest of his days trapped in a glass cube on a shelf.

We continued to walk around the kiosk. Thomas admired the cubes, and I tried to decide how movie-Tracie would save the tiny, trapped people. Would they be released if I broke the cubes? Was there a secret phrase that needed to be spoken at just the right time? Should I break the cube with the dolphin under water? There are so many variables to the situation.

And then I saw the true horror story of it all: The Price List.

Yes, for the low, low price of just $450, you can trap your loved ones in a small glass cube. The price goes up if you want a larger cube like the ones in my pictures.

Who is spending $450 on picture cubes?

Although...it might be a cheap way of taking care of those relatives you don't really like and that dog who keeps peeing on your carpet. Just a thought.

But if I visit your house, and find them sitting in a cube on your mantle, I will have to come back in the middle of the night to try to break them free. You should probably prepare for my visit by pulling the broom and dust pan out of the closet to make it easy for me to clean up after my rescue mission. And please provide a bucket of water if you have trapped a dolphin.

How would you save the tiny, trapped people if it was your movie?
Do you love the picture cubes (like Thomas), or do they freak you out (like me)?

***I probably don't need to say this, but just in case you are wondering, this post was in no way sponsored by the people at the 3D laser engraved picture cube kiosk. Also, they are not actually trying to kill you or trap you in glass. Allegedly.

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