Blog Against Child Abuse January 2014 Edition

The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse is a monthly event. Its purpose is to raise awareness about the serious issue of child abuse. All forms of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, verbal) are discussed.

Welcome to the Blog Against Child Abuse - January 2014 Edition!

Advocacy & Awareness:
-Jean Marie from Breaking Generational Chains submitted What Victims of Abuse Need, In Order to Speak Out!
She wrote: I wanted to speak out when I was 13, I obsessed over it.   But I never got my chance then... I did not report my father until 23 years later. In this post I consider my needs at 13 and look at what a survivor needs to speak out. I hope it will spread awareness. I know that the part of me that is still a little 13 year old is glad I wrote this post.



Monthly Theme:
-Kate from Kate Is Rising submitted Keep Moving Forward
She wrote: This is what I wanted to say to other survivors, if I only had one post, one important message to impart, it would be, keep moving forward.

-Kate also shared three quotes that are really powerful, and fit with the thought of moving forward:

• Healing Quotes Littles 16
• Healing Quotes 278
• Healing Quotes 488

-I don't have a post for this month's theme, although I meant to write one last week. Sickness hitting my family is part of it, but I also feel like I haven't fully formulated a plan for what moving forward is going to look like in my life this year. It is definitely something I plan to explore in the coming months. Sometimes just making it through the day, or the week, or the month is enough. That is where I was in January. I hope, if you found yourself in that same place, that February will be much kinder to you, and to all of us.

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The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse provides an opportunity to raise awareness about the serious issue of child abuse and to share important posts with others who might not be frequent readers of an author's blog. There are so many wonderful bloggers who are contributing to the cause of ending and recovering from child abuse. If you, as a reader or author, know of other blogs that you find helpful, please encourage them to submit to an upcoming issue of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse so we can continue to receive high quality submissions from a wide swath of bloggers.

Many thanks to all of you who shared your hearts and stories with us, and to all of you who read the submissions and show your support. You keep this carnival, the awareness, support, and healing going each month.

To provide another way for you to stay in contact with the blog carnival, and make sure you don't miss any updates, we have a Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse Facebook Page.

Thank you for raising your voice and speaking out against child abuse!

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A Lady in France

I like memoirs, movies based on true stories, and biographies. The complicated simplicity of real lives. That is one of the first things that drew me to blogging - being able to read the big and small pieces of people's lives. A few years ago, I found Jennie Goutet from A Lady In France, and I've been reading her words ever since.

I plan to read more non-fiction in my book reading as well as my online reading in 2014, so the timing was perfect when Jennie's memoir came out at the end of last year. I ordered it immediately, and waited impatiently for it to arrive.

A Lady In France was a book I could have easily read in one sitting. Jennie's writing is beautiful, and her story is interesting. But instead I found myself setting it down every couple of chapters, because I wanted space to think about it, to breathe, to savor her words, to really be there in the moments she shares.

Reading Jennie's story is a little like taking a trip. You get to travel to New York, Asia, France, and Africa. But it is more than just a collection of travels. She opens up, and really allows you to know her feelings as she experiences great loss, deals with addiction and mental health issues, finds love, embraces and grows in faith, and builds a home and family. And through all of it, it is Jennie's heart that shines through, and makes you want to turn to the next chapter.

By the end of the book I had cried and laughed with Jennie.
Her words and story touched my heart and encouraged me.

I know most of us have ridiculously long lists of books to read, and not nearly enough time to read them all. Maybe you aren't looking to add to your reading list, at least not very hard. I understand. But I have to tell you, A Lady In France is worth your time. Don't just add it to your list; move it to the top. You won't be sorry.

*A Lady In France is available in Kindle and paperback versions on Amazon. I don't get anything if you buy it, and I'm not being compensated for this post (I didn't even get a free copy of the book) - I just wanted to pass on a good thing from a friend, because I believe her words will bless you.

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Saturday of Thankfulness

My friend Lizzi compiles a list of ten things she is thankful for each week. Even on the hard weeks, or maybe I should say especially on the hard weeks, Lizzi is there with her list of thanks. I love that. I need more intentional thankfulness in my life and in my writing.

So today I am going to link up with Lizzi and her thankfulness. And I am going to remember that there are things for which I am very thankful.

1. The sunlight that streams in through the window. And the curtains that hold it out on mornings when I want to sleep in.

2. Writing like this from my friend Alexandra at Good Day Regular People, where she explains her one-household revolution in the way society treats women, what happens to magazines that find their way into her home, and how she teaches her boys about unacceptable portrayals of women in media by her actions.

3. That the person who scraped and stole content from hundreds of blogs and websites earlier this week (including mine) was shut down.

4. Books that arrive in the mail. This week it was Mommy Memoirs from Ann Van De Water that landed in my post office box, and has given me cause to laugh and think.

5. Bible studies emailed to me each morning, that will touch my heart if only I take the time to read and study with them.

6. Chocolate doughnuts and coffee early on a Saturday morning. Lovingly delivered by my husband before he left for work.

7. British television, arriving on my tv by way of library DVDs. This week I'm loving Cadfael, and rewatching Cranford. I snuck in a little As Time Goes By, too.

8. Rainbow loom bracelets and charms and headbands, and a storage case for all those tiny rubber bands.

Creating new things with the loom has been a great distraction for Katarina the last two weeks as she works through her feelings and grief.

9. All the people who stepped in, and helped me finish tasks and work while I took time off to be with my family. It is a blessing to be so supported.

10. Laughter. And reasons to laugh. And hearing Thomas and Katarina laugh, especially after a time of so many tears.

What are you thankful for today?

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Dreaming Of Spain

Even though we don't get a lot of winter in Florida, the winter season still lends itself to daydreams of summer and traveling.

Today I am dreaming about a trip to Spain. Like all vacation planning, Spain holidays can be enjoyed at a fair price if you book in advance. Which is why I am dreaming now - far in advance. Because one day I plan to leave North America, and I would love for Spain to be a part of that trip.

Things I Want To Do In Spain
Visit the beach. There are a lot of beautiful beaches in Spain. We are beach snobs in my family. Growing up in Pensacola, will do that to you. I was excited to see that the beaches in Fuerteventura’s southwest peninsula have beautiful white sand. The beaches in Ria de Vigo, Galicia are also beautiful, and they allow camping on the beach, which is something Thomas would really enjoy.

Hike up a mountain. I wouldn't hike up a huge mountain, that is just not my thing, but there are some peaks in Spain that might work for me. I'm especially interested in Monte Toro, which has a Franciscan convent and a 17th-century Renaissance church at the top that I would love to see. I would also like to visit the Rock of Gibraltar.

Shop and eat. No trip is complete without a little shopping, and Spain is a wonderful place to do it. In between shops, I imagine myself stopping at little cafes and eating tapas all day long. And I want to try Crema Catalana.  I might need to plan on more hiking than I usually would do to work off all the food I intend to eat. And the wine.

Soak up history. Spain is full of history. From the Alcazaba and Cathedral in Malaga, to the Picasso Museum in Malagueños, there are lots of opportunities to observe art, architecture, gardens and archaeological discoveries.

I think all these things would add up to a perfect vacation.

Have you been to Spain?
What are your recommendations for the perfect Spanish holiday?

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More Diagon Alley News

Universal Orlando Resort shared a live webcast this morning with more details about the Diagon Alley expansion to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I'm going to share the highlights with you, in case you missed it, and because I am super excited for Diagon Alley to open this summer.

As announced previously, you will be able to travel between Diagon Alley in Universal Studios and Hogsmeade in Islands of Adventure by riding on the Hogwarts Express. They confirmed that you will have to have a park-to-park pass in order to do make the journey.

The train ride will have views of London and the British countryside, and they promised a few surprises as well. Evanna Lynch (Luna Lovegood is one of Thomas' favorite characters in the series), sitting with Terry Coup, SVP Creative Development, on the Hogwarts Express noted that riding on the train between the two parks felt more real than being in the films.

When you arrive in London, you will see the Knight Bus sitting by the embankment on the Thames, which I am sure will provide some great picture taking opportunities. After that, you will walk through the brick wall, into Diagon Alley.

Along with Mark Woodbury, President of Creative Development, Matthew Lewis and James Phelps (It's Neville and Fred, y'all!)  announced the shops you will be able to visit in Diagon Alley. I was excited to see some of my favorite shops from the books make the list.

Diagon Alley’s shops:

• Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes - featuring novelty items, magical jokes, and toys inspired by the books and films
• Madam Malkin’s Robes for All Occasions - offering a variety of wizardwear, from Hogwarts school uniforms, to authentic wizard’s robes and character costumes
• Magical Menagerie - where you can hear the sounds of all the wizarding animals, and pick up plush animals like owls and hippoggriffs
• Wiseacre’s Wizarding Equipment - the place to get wizarding essentials such as telescopes, binoculars, armillary spheres, compasses, magnifying glasses and hourglasses
• Quality Quidditch Supplies - apparel and equipment including Quidditch sweaters, brooms, Golden Snitches, Bludgers, Bludger bats, Quaffles, and more
• Scribbulus - where you will find authentic writing implements and products such as feather quills, ink and inkwells, bookmarks, journals, parchment paper, seals, stationery sets and postcards (I am most excited about this one!)
• Ollivanders - this is where you can find wands, and participate in the interactive experience of the wand choosing the wizard.
• Borgin and Burkes - located on Knockturn Alley in the Diagon Alley area of the Wizarding World, will specialize in dark arts and sinister objects.

As you can see in this concept rendering of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, it looks like the store was pulled straight form the movie. All three actors remarked on the level of detail in each shop and restaurant.

Now that you will be able to shop for all of the Weasley twin's inventions in their own shop on Diagon Alley, they will no longer be offered in Zonkos in Hogsmeade. Honeyduke's Sweet Shop will be expanded.

No theme park area is complete without at least one ride. Diagon Alley will have Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts a multi-sensory, multi-dimensional experience. I am very excited to try it.

You can see the inside of Gringotts in this screenshot from the webcast. We even caught a few glimpses of some of Gringotts goblins walking about in the background, hard at work protecting all the money and secrets in the vaults.

We already knew they were recreating the Leaky Cauldron, which will offer traditional British pub foods like fish and chips and bangers and mash. I was excited to learn that they are also building Florean Fortescue’s Ice-Cream Parlour. The scenes in book three where Harry spends an extended time in Diagon Alley while waiting for school to begin are some of my favorites, and I always appreciated Florean giving him free ice cream each day. Katarina wants to be first in line to try the strawberry-and-peanut-butter ice-cream, which she has wanted since reading the book.

You can find out more information about the expansion and each shop on the Wizarding World of Harry Potter website. It is well worth a visit, if only to see the detailed animations and drawing, and videos with some of the other actors from the movies. I spent a lot of time there this morning after the webcast.

What are you most excited to see included in the Diagon Alley expansion of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter? 

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Every Character In Looking For Alaska Is Me

I have been reading more YA books lately. I am finding myself drawn to them, partly to find books for Katarina, and partly because I enjoy the really good ones. I find, when it comes to YA books, that I either love or hate them. There does not seem to be much in between.

Everyone seemed to be reading books by John Green in 2013, so I put myself on the library waiting list for The Fault In Our Stars. On a whim, I also signed up for Looking For Alaska; thinking it might be a story about people going to Alaska which is something I have always wanted to do.

I often read books without delving into the synopsis; it keeps life interesting.

Spoiler: Looking For Alaska has nothing to do with the state of Alaska. Or a road trip to Alaska. Or people who live in a cold place. Or polar bears.

I read Looking For Alaska first, and The Fault In Our Stars a couple of weeks later. The Fault In Our Stars was good. But it was not Looking For Alaska. I held that fact against it.

I might be ruined for John Green books forever now, because I am not sure that anything he writes can possibly measure up to that book in my mind.

It isn't that Looking for Alaska is the most amazing book I have ever read, but Looking For Alaska felt emotionally truthful to me. Truthful in a way that most books are not. It was like Looking For Alaska cut me open, revealed everything inside of me, and then stitched me back up again. I am still thinking about it weeks later.

Every character in Looking For Alaska is me. The me I used to be when I was in those teen years, and maybe a bit the me I am now, at thirty.

I was Miles. Finding my way into friendships by accident. Not good at relationships. Knowing a lot of other people's stories, but having little of my own. Striving for more, for something great, without being able to define what it was. Loving the teachers that no one else liked, and often dreading being in the classes of teachers who were accepted as favorites.

I was Alaska. Mysterious, yet not so mysterious. Dropping hints about my pain. Disclosing stories during late night talks, fueled by the desire to truly connect, and emboldened by sleeplessness. Held apart from the group, yet sometimes giving it direction. Self destructive. Moody. A pain. Possibly something special, but not recognizing the important things that made me special; instead latching on to all the unimportant things.

I was both the one who knew too much about sex, and the one who knew nothing. I remember saying to a friend during a phone call when I was twelve, "What exactly is oral sex? I am assuming it is precisely what the name indicates, and I am not sure I'm very impressed by the idea."

I was Chip. Holding onto loyalty, maybe a little too firmly. The kid whose family wasn't rich in a school full of people who were.

I was the person who retreated into myself and shut people out.
I still am that person.

I was Takumi. Close to the center of the circle, but always on the outside. Sometimes knowing the missing piece of the puzzle. Sometimes not realizing that what I held was a puzzle piece.

Every character is me. I'm not sure if that says something about me. Maybe none of us are much more than our teen selves. Maybe all the maturity that we feel ourselves gain with age is really just a shroud we pull around our true selves as we strive to show the world a more composed and controlled us.

If we were to spend a day without those shrouds, it would probably the most honest moment the world has ever seen.

The plot was not something out of my teen years, and on the surface I probably had very little in common with the story. But as I saw myself again and again in the souls of the characters, I could not help but be drawn into their world. I felt every blow, every decision, every conversation, as if I was sixteen.

The relentless focus of the characters was so real. There is a point in the book where a big thing happens, and it takes over months of their lives. It means everything to them. When I look back at my teen years, they are divided into blocks of time just like that.

Blocks of time when I was focused on one specific thing. Whatever it was, filled my world and my focus to the exclusion of everything else. This is perfectly illustrated in my journals from those years.

I am slightly surprised to look back at those times and realize that whatever the tragedy or drama was, it usually only lasted for only a few weeks, because in the moment it seemed as though it lasted forever. Life changed so quickly. What was important changed so quickly. And it captured me. It filled my thoughts. Everything else that happened was in the shadow of whatever big thing was my focus during that block of time.

When I finished Looking For Alaska, I had to mentally shake myself, and remember that I am no longer sixteen. It felt that real. That level of realness and emotional honesty definitely set the bar high for any future YA reading I do.

Have you read Looking For Alaska, or any other John Green books?
Have you read a book where you saw yourself in the characters? I want to read it, too, and see if I find myself.

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I Do Not Have The Answers

My mother-in-law died. I am in the in-between place. Judy was mine, but she wasn't. Her stories, her life, her memory belongs to Thomas and their family, far more than it does to me. So I poured myself into finding black pants that were long enough (while thinking how ridiculous it is that clothes are so important when someone has just died), and making travel plans for Thomas to go to the funeral, and I did not touch my keyboard or pen.

Almost a week later, and I feel like I'm peeking into the little window by the door of the internet to check if it is all clear before I knock and gain entry.

Is it safe in there? Will I be hit again by the name of loved ones who have passed when I look at facebook? Will I find stories of cancer in my feeds when I try to read blog posts? Will I feel overwhelmed by the amount of messages, notifications, emails, blog posts, and social media stuff that went down while I was away? Probably.

I feel like I have forgotten how to write in this space that is sent out to the world. I feel suddenly unsure about my words and my place.

I am left sitting with my journal this afternoon, pouring out thoughts about what is really important in life and relationships, and why don't I just call that person I love, and why don't I know more about Japan, and what happened to a boy with a black hat and a little red-haired girl who followed him around, and what is the rate of inflation from 1889 to 2014, and did I say the right thing to Katarina when I told her her grandma died, and to Thomas when I told him his mother was gone, and what was that recipe for cookies that did not have peanut butter in them, and how mysterious can a person actually be, and how many people make transatlantic crossings by boat, and should you give early journals and diaries to your children to read while you are still alive and can answer questions (and if so, at what age) or should you burn them all now before they can be found, and why did I have a dream last night where I heard every theme song from the shows I watched during my childhood, and should Pandas be classified as bears, and why are some people incapable of remembering things?

And at the end of this exercise, I realize that I have very few answers in this life. Especially about the important things. Sure, I could look up answers to questions about inflation and pandas and transatlantic crossings, but I don't have the mental energy to do that today, and I probably won't think to do it tomorrow. Those questions are not the ones that sit heavy in my mind; it is the other questions, the ones whose answers I can not google that call out to me.

Maybe I will find find those answers by writing, and maybe some of those things will find their way into blog posts one day. Because writing is what I know, and it is how I process life. Even when I feel unsure and unarmed.

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Prayers For Judy

My mother-in-law, Judy, had a lump in her breast. It started out small, but continued to grow for eight years until it was visible from the outside. She knew there was something wrong, but because of fear and a bad experience with a doctor, she ignored it.

By the time she sought treatment, and breast cancer was officially diagnosed in September 2011, the cancer had already metastasized into her bones and several large tumors had formed in her back. The prognosis was not good.

What followed was a battle. Judy had a mastectomy, and started hormone treatments, radiation, and rounds of chemo.

In February of 2012, we were very excited to get a report from the doctor saying that a large grapefruit-sized tumor in her lower back had shrunk to the size of a quarter, and the other tumors were gone. The following May she had another good blood test, and the doctor said her cancer was dormant.

In 2013, she had a major surgery on her carotid artery. The cancer became active again, and started growing. Pain was her constant companion, and between the cancer and the Rheumatoid Arthritis she has had since her 30's, her mobility was severely limited. She had several strokes, and spent more time in the hospital. Through all of this, she continued to hold on to her faith in God, and trust that He was in control.

Before Christmas, she returned to the hospital. They wanted to focus on managing her pain before the next round of chemo. She was released to a rehab facility after the new year, but last week they moved her back to the hospital and placed her in Hospice care. She is not expected to live much longer.

After her initial diagnosis, Judy shared her story on my blog. She wanted to encourage all women to have a mammogram, and to not let fear hold them back from seeking answers and treatment when they knew something was wrong. She was overwhelmed and thankful for all of the support from the online community after she shared her story and as she went through her mastectomy.

Thomas and his mom.

I want to point you toward Judy's post again today, to share her message.

And I am asking for your prayers - for God's will, and that He will bring her through this valley with peace. We know that soon she will be with the Lord, but there is still much grief for those of us who love her and are left behind.

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Judy Flaningam went to be with the Lord on Monday afternoon, January 13, 2014. She was surrounded by friends and family, and holding the hand of her beloved husband Jim as she passed.

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I Am Not Stealing This Cute Puppy

I've learned something this week: everything is more fun when you do it with a puppy beside you. There are probably famous quotes from famous dog-loving people that would confirm this. At least one of them probably mentions smoking a pipe, and I'm sure several of them also discuss the joys of reading.

There is something about having a puppy sitting in my lap while I am reading a book that makes me think of pipes and cups of tea. Not that I have ever smoked a pipe. I do love a good cup of tea, though.

Puppies also make good writing companions, until they try to chew on the laptop cord. 

We are visiting my friend Lee this week, and her family has a new puppy.

I am going to have to check Katarina's suitcase to make sure she doesn't have a stowaway when we leave.

Or maybe not.

Is "cuteness of puppy" a mitigating circumstance that will get your dog theft sentence reduced? Because I might not check that suitcase very carefully if it is.
 

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Your Florida Is Showing

With deep apologies to everyone living north of me, I share this story. These are the conversations Floridians have when it is 50 degrees outside.

Thomas and I had to run to the bank to cash a check over the weekend. I say run, but actually we were walking. I threw on a coat and hat on the way out the door. Mostly because my hair was a mess, and the hat matched my jacket.

Thomas: We need to go back; you don't have a scarf.

Tracie: I don't need a scarf.

Thomas: Yes, you do. And we need to put on gloves. It is cold out here.

Tracie: It isn't that cold. I'll be fine.

Thomas, stopping in the middle of the road: Seriously, we can go back. It is SO cold. You might want a jacket that has a hood to go with your hat. Or your wool coat. Can you believe how cold it is? Let's go get scarves.

Tracie: Stop. Your Florida is showing. We will be okay. It is not that cold.

At least it wasn't raining, so he did not try to talk me into bringing an umbrella.

I hope all of you in the actual cold are staying warm. I'll be thinking of you while I sit down here by my air conditioning, not wearing a scarf.

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Now Accepting Submissions for the January 2014 Edition of The Blog Against Child Abuse

The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse is a monthly event. Its purpose is to raise awareness about the serious issue of child abuse. All forms of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, verbal) are discussed.


Happy 2014! We are entering into the 9th year of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. It is amazing to think that we have been gathering in this online space sharing our stories, our healing, and our lives for nine years.

The January edition of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse will be hosted here at From Tracie.

The theme: Moving Forward
I feel like 2013, for me, was a year of stagnation. I was stuck in more ways than one. As this new year begins, I'm not ready for resolutions or plans, but I am thinking about moving forward and what that means. Moving forward in healing, in relationships, in life.

The start of a new year is a great time to look back at the previous 12 months and evaluate what is working and what isn't, and where we have traveled. I would love to hear an update on your last year, and on what your plans are for moving forward in 2014.

All of our regular categories will also be open:
-Advocacy and Awareness
-Aftermath
-Healing and Therapy
-In the News
-Poetry
-Survivor Stories
-Art Therapy

The deadline for submissions is January 29th, and the carnival will be posted on the 31st. I'm excited to see what y'all share this month. You can submit something written especially for this edition, but please feel free to submit an older post as well.

To submit a blog post, please fill out this form.

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The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse provides an opportunity to raise awareness about the serious issue of child abuse and to share important posts with others who might not be frequent readers of an author's blog. There are so many wonderful bloggers who are contributing to the cause of ending and recovering from child abuse. If you, as a reader or author, know of other blogs that you find helpful, please encourage them to submit to an upcoming issue of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse so we can continue to receive high quality submissions from a wide swath of bloggers.

Many thanks to all of you who shared your hearts and stories with us, and to all of you who read the submissions and show your support. You keep this carnival, the awareness, support, and healing going each month.

To provide another way for you to stay in contact with the blog carnival, and make sure you don't miss any updates; you can like the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse Facebook Page.

Thank you for raising your voice and speaking out against child abuse!

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