Writing for you. Sending words out into the world.
I should probably be happy it took fourteen days for me to hit a dark day. There are a lot of months for which fourteen days would be a record. In those fourteen days I've blogged from a friend's house, blogged with a painful infection after a tooth extraction, and I even blogged after pulling my back out last week. I have blogged. But those obstacles were scheduling conflicts and physical pain. I'm pretty good at working through that kind of stuff. A dark day is different.
A dark day is mental. Emotional. Exhausting. It takes all of my brain power to stay present in the moment. On dark days all the words I had planned (today was going to be an ode to the apostrophe) run and hide, leaving me a little lost. It is not prime blogging time.
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This morning I watched Trouble With The Curve. It is a baseball movie. Clint Eastwood. Amy Adams. Justin Timberlake. I know it didn't receive rave reviews, but I was loving every minute of it.
I was okay with the father/daughter relationship portion of the story for most of the movie, but as it progressed, I felt a familiar tightness in my chest and tears in my eyes. Then they threw in an attempted child molestation situation. Clint Eastwood rescued his daughter. He made mistakes in the process, and he unwittingly hurt her in the years that followed, but his heart's goal was to protect her. By the end of the movie, they are working on moving forward together. And I was a tearful puddle of emotions and snot.
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This is the truth you might not see here everyday...
Sometimes I watch a movie, or read a book, and it messes me up for the entire day.
It is amazing to see how a story can touch someone's day or even their life. That is a powerful thing, but it isn't always easy. When it happens to me, I usually get quiet, and spend time inside my own head instead of writing out loud for the world. Sometimes not being able to string together words on the screen feels like a prison. I would love to break free, but that isn't always a choice I get to make.
Today I wrote anyway. That feels like a victory. Thanks NaBloPoMo.
Have you ever been really touched by a movie or book?
Books particularly get me...I read fast, but when I finish a book I actually feel very sad, regardless of the book. It's like I have to let a close friend go. Movies don't do this too me too much.
ReplyDeleteI have that same parting with a friend feeling when I finish a book. It is always a little sad.
DeleteI struggle to write on dark days. I struggle to think anything positive about myself on dark days, so I don't connect well, or even try. I commend you for doing this much writing!
ReplyDeleteI've been really touched by many movies and books. Where the Red Fern Grows made me sob for a week. The movie of Marvin's Room did the same.
I went through more than one box of tissues when I read Where the Red Fern Grows. It was so very sad. But good. I'm going to have my daughter read it this year. I have not seen the movie Marvin's Room, I'll have to look it up at the library.
DeleteI struggle with the positivity on dark days, too.
Yes, absolutely. Glass Castles is one book that really got to me. I just can't imagine being a kid and having to fend for myself so much of the time. Congrats on posting every day...it's not easy!
ReplyDeleteI haven't read Glass Castles. Adding it to my reading list now.
DeleteThanks! It isn't something I'm going to try to do forever, but I think it has helped me to be a little bit more disciplined to do it for the month.
Like Cheri, I have had books that I have been really sad to finish reading...I felt like the characters were really people for whom I had grown to care. I've had a couple movies that haven't so much touched me but kind of put me in an uncomfortable place emotionally (particularly Requiem for a Dream....great movie, but I felt horrible for the rest of the evening after watching it.)
ReplyDeleteOne of these months I hope to participate in NaBloPoMo. Good luck with the venture!
I've read those books, too. Where you just want to be transported into the story to have more time with the characters who are your new, secret, best friends.
DeleteAs a matter of fact [shameless plug], the book that changed my life was from Dr. Karyl McBride author of "Will I Ever Be Good Enough?" It's about recovering from being raised by a narcissist mother. I contacted her and asked if she'd share something for my audience ....and today she did.
ReplyDeleteThat is so very awesome! I'm excited to check it out. I love that you reached out to her, and that you received such a favorable response.
Deletegood job sticking with it. I hit the wall around the same time you did. not sure if I will make it past today with the daily posts. depends how the day goes I guess.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I'm hoping to make it the rest of the month.
DeleteFourteen days is a long time to do something every day, but we are at the half-point now. You can do it!!
Very much so. All the time. Both happy and sad ones, actually. I cannot watch Kramer Vs. Kramer without sobbing. Same with the funeral scene of Steel Magnolias. I also bawl at Father of the Bride during the wedding scene. Basically, I am a sap.-Ashley
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you did it anyway is a victory all in itself. I just participated in 31 Days which was the same concept - blogging for the 31 days of October. Every day. It is such a sense of accomplishment to do it. No matter what. I visited from the SITS this morning :)
ReplyDeleteOh movies and books and even real-life events gets into me and affects my writing. it strikes me real hard and my entire day either gets hyped up or I become the gloomy mom they would see at home.
ReplyDeletesaying hi and hello from #SITSSharefest :)
I'm best watching movies like that at home for the obvious crying and snot reasons. If a movie of story can provoke such a strong response with you it must be a well-written piece of work AND you have a very kind heart.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.
Les Miserables was the first movie that ever made me cry. It had me in my feelings all day! #SITSsharefest
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you wrote, Tracie! That is a victory!
ReplyDeleteI hate getting lost inside my own head. It takes days to find my out. I hope you feel better today. XO