In an unassuming blue box sat the thing of childhood nightmares. Quicksand.
Quicksand that is just waiting to be mixed so it can spread out, swallowing the store and everyone in it faster than you can say, "Quick, grab that low hanging vine and pull yourself out."
Apparently someone thought it would be a good idea to offer children the chance to create their own quicksand pit.
Don't they realize how dangerous quicksand is to anyone who gets near it?
Isn't it bad enough that *everyone has a 72% chance of being stuck in quicksand at least once in their life, without us creating more and bringing it into our homes?
Look at those nice children on the box. Happily smiling as they create a silent killer. By the looks on their faces, I am guessing they never watched old movies or classic television, and no one warned them of the dangers. Or they are just being paid really, really well for this modeling gig.
When I saw the box at the store, I quickly snapped a picture of it to share with you. (See how I put your enjoyment above my personal safety? You are welcome.) I then slowly moved away from it, keeping my eyes on the corner of the box as long as I could, to make sure no quicksand was trying to escape. I payed no heed to the strange look the saleswoman gave me; I knew the danger even if she didn't.
Quicksand. It is real, and it is coming to get you.
Probably in your very own home.
Would you buy a Create Your Own Quicksand Pit Kit?
*Not a scientific statistic.
**I immediately thought of this punny conversation about quicksand.
***I probably don't need to say this, but just in case you are wondering, this post was in no way sponsored by the people at Create Your Own Quicksand Pit. Also, they are not actually trying to kill you. Allegedly.
****NaBloPoMo. Day 10 and still going strong.
I think I know what Evan's getting for Christmas!!
ReplyDeleteHa! He is going to love it.
DeleteYou are awesome. I love to see your humorous side (that word looks like it is spelled wrong, but it is not, and now it just looks like I should simply delete it ...) your funny side! Your funny side in posts is ... Well, fun! Xox
ReplyDeleteAww. Thank you!!
DeleteIn addition to having my first laugh of the morning, I am also now thinking of ways I could use a quicksand pit. For all my neighbors who don't clean up after their dogs when they go in my front yard, for example.
ReplyDeleteYes! That is exactly how you should use a quicksand pit. Brilliant!
Deletehaha... 72%. I kinda believed you for a bit since it's early in the morning. I'm so glad my chances are significantly reduced!
ReplyDeleteThis totally cracked me up. I can just see you backing slowly away, figuring out how to fashion a rope from the bookmarks on display should it be necessary to rescue someone. Now I'm feeling like I need to watch the "Gilligan's Island" episode where they think Gilligan has fallen into the pit that has mysteriously sprung up on the island. Or maybe I'll just run around yelling "Skipper!" for the rest of the day. xoxo
ReplyDeleteNow I'm fascinated. I always imagined it was something in the shape of the ground that turned perfectly safe sand into dangerous quicksands, I wouldn't have thought you could reproduce that easily in a beaker! I might have to look into this...
ReplyDeleteThis would be a perfect item for our Oh Honey No board on Pinterest...because, hello, obviously this is awesome! :)-Ashley
ReplyDeleteI hate the feel of sand anyways so no chance I'd buy this :)
ReplyDeleteLol! "everyone has a 72% chance of being stuck in quicksand at least once in their life"
ReplyDelete