How Not To Pick A Halloween Costume

This costume choosing thing is a big deal. It is hard to find Halloween costumes for tween girls. So many of them look, well, slutty. It is worse if the girl is tall. If you have been anywhere near my family during the last week, you've been pulled into the costume brainstorming and asked for a Halloween costume suggestion by Katarina. She will then have told you, "My dad thinks I should dress as Belladonna Took, but I'm pretty sure no one will know who that is, and it will be confusing. I'll spend the whole night explaining the Lord of the Rings to people. Plus I have short hair. I need a costume that goes with short hair."

My friend Debra ended up on the phone with Katarina yesterday, and got caught in the costume conversation. It went a little something like this...

Katarina: I was thinking about being Wasp, because she is awesome, and we have matching hair. But there are no good Wasp costumes in my size.

Debra: I'm sure we can think of someone who has short hair. Oooh. Anne Hathaway in Les Misérables had short hair. You love that movie. It would be perfect. You can dress up as....what was her character's name?

Katarina: Fantine?

Debra: Yes. Dress up as Fantine! And you could make a dress out of a *potato sack since the story is from the French Revolution.

Katarina: Potato sack? I don't know about that. But really, I don't think Fantine is an appropriate costume choice.

Tracie (overhearing the conversation from across the room): Did she suggest you dress up like Fantine? From Les Misérables?

Katarina: Debra, have you seen Les Misérables?

Debra: Fantine would be perfect for you. The hair. The potato sack. You could sing the songs. It is perfect. No. I haven't seen it. Why?

Katarina: Well. See, Fantine....um....let me start from the beginning. She works in a factory-type thing, which is good, until her boss finds out she has a child, and isn't married. He fires her. And then she ends up, well, she can't find a job, and it is the 1700's and she needs money for Cosette, so she is forced to become a prostitute, and then she dies.

Debra (feeling a little flustered): Oh. What about a butterfly? A girl from the 70's? Or maybe a flower? A flower really would be perfect. Nice and happy.

We have only done this Halloween thing a couple of times, but I'm pretty sure part of trying to find a decent costume for your tween girl involves not encouraging her to dress like an actual prostitute.

After getting off the phone, Katarina said, "I was a little worried I was going to have to explain prostitution to Debra. Suddenly the thought of having to explain Lord of the Rings to everyone all night doesn't seem so awful anymore."

Have your kids picked their Halloween costumes?

*Is it a little bit wrong that the thing that horrified me the most about this conversation was the thought of sewing a French Revolution era dress from a potato sack? That is way outside of my skill set, and I'm not even sure if potatoes come in sacks anymore. My potatoes always come in bags - after they have been fried by the nice people at Lays.

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