People I love are hurting, and they are hurting each other.
I want to go to them. I want to tell them how to fix things. It seems so simple on the outside. Well, not simple, but possible. It seems possible. But I am not living their lives. I am sure there are times when people look at me, and think how possible it would be to fix things. Things that are really much more complicated than they know.
I need to remember that. That the looking in is not nearly as clear as it seems.
Even though it does seem clear. I feel like I could spend a day and set things right. It wouldn't remove the hurt, but it would make space for healing. Healing is what I want so badly for these people I love.
I know the truth about certain kinds of healing - the person who is hurt has to want it. And this is that kind of healing. No matter how much I want it for them, it won't happen until they want it for themselves. (I am sure there are people who have thought that about me, too.)
So I sit in this place and write. Half finished sentences. Names redacted. Hearts protected on both sides. And I pray. For hope. For healing. For possibilities. Because I believe those things are real. More real than the strongest steel or the sharpest sword. More real than the blanket wrapped around me. They are the stuff of souls; the things that live with us forever.
Hope. Healing. Possibilities.
And at the very least - kindness.
That is what I wish for the people I love, and it is what I wish for all of you.
There are people in my life that are hurting and hurting me... we can't seem to stop. I wish there was someone in our lives who would sit us down and make us listen, but everyone is afraid to get involved. I don't know if that helps you, but your peeps may just need someone to grab them all and give them a good shake.
ReplyDeleteThat is helpful, Tara. I think it would help for them to have someone on the outside - someone who loves all of them - step in and provide a little perspective, and a safe space to talk through things. Plus, a good shake.
DeleteI hope someone in your life steps up to do that for you and your peeps. Especially because you want it.
This is such a beautiful post. I am a huge believer in possibilities and I also want those around me who need healing to be healed. I wish I could do it for them sometimes because I want everyone I love to be happy - but you make a point in that people have to want the healing for themselves.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I want my people to be happy too. It is so hard when they aren't.
DeletePossibilities are a beautiful thing.
It's really hard to sit by and watch people you care about be hurt and sad and angry. But I agree with you that they have to want it.
ReplyDeleteI hope they get there too.
They really do have to want it. It is a hard road to walk - but even harder until you hit that point.
DeleteSorry about your friends, and I hope they get to that place of taking action.. it can be so hard to watch..
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment on my blog. :)
Thank you. I hope they come to that place soon.
DeleteSometimes, I feel this way too. I want to jump in and fix things for them, and to me, it seems so simple.
ReplyDeleteBut it's not because these matters of the heart are never simple.
I am SUCH a fixer. I can't seem to stop (except when it comes to my life - I'm not always so good at fixing that).
DeleteMatters of the heart are endlessly complicated.
Until they want it for themselves...that statement rings true. No matter how much we try, if they don't want it, they (their situation) will not change.
ReplyDeleteBut we can still help encourage them along the way.
I do wish all of those things for everyone. Always. xo
Encouragement is a huge thing. Thank you for that reminder. I'm working on figuring out what is the best way to be an encouragement in this situation.
DeleteSometimes I'm sure you see straight through to the soul of me. Though I know these words aren't about me, I hear an echo of my own battles. I'm reminded that just because a situation involves me and one or two others, it can ripple out and cause worry and harm to those we love.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reminding me of these things. And for reminding me there are possibilities. And for saying the words my heart needs to hear, even if my mind is too stubborn to say them.
Amen sweet girl! Just that ... amen!
ReplyDeleteWhat a beatifully written post it is terrible when someone hurting and hurting others even if they try not to......
ReplyDeleteYour words resonated with me, Tracie. We've had some issues with folks we love, and it is so painful to know we aren't able to do anything but pray. We've even been told by them not to pray for them. :-( (As if I'm going to do that. :-) )
ReplyDeleteI hope writing this provided some relief. Last year I wrote about a couple I adore who were on the verge of divorce. I was so frustrated at not being able to do more, to reach them. But like you say: they have to be willing to want to heal. I also wrote a "letter" for anyone who was experiencing difficult relationships, about a family only a mother could love. If I may ask your forgiveness, I am linking it for you: http://www.toodarnhappy.com/a-family-only-a-mother-can-love/
Oh goodness.....I feel as if you wrote this about a situation that I'm going through right now as well. Beautiful, poignant thoughts, thanks for sharing your heart and know I'm right there with you!
ReplyDeleteHow I can relate to these words! Half of my 2013 was spent heavy-hearted for people I can't help - whom I couldn't help even when I was allowed in their lives. Looking forward to reading more from you!
ReplyDelete