From Tracie: January 2013

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Shades Of Grey Spoon

Jasper Fforde is brilliant. Teala has been telling me for years that I need to read Jasper Fforde. When I wrote about my reading goals, and Jen and Teala both mentioned him. I knew it was time to move him up the reading list.

Yesterday I read my first Fforde. Shades of Grey.

Not to be confused with 50 Shades of Grey - I don't read Twilight, and I'm certainly not going to read badly written Twilight knock-offs. Plus, Fforde used the title Shades of Grey first, so now I feel like E L James does not even own the title of her books.

I loved every single word of Shades of Grey. Fforde has officially made my favorite author list.

This means I have spent the last two days telling Thomas and Katarina all about my new book-love. About the colors. About the attack swans. About the spoons.

Spoons are very important in the Shades of Grey world, because it is illegal to produce any more of them.

Today we went for a walk, and (having a captive audience) I was telling them more things about the book, when Thomas looked down and said, "There is a spoon by the road." It was the most perfect timing, and I knew it had to be shared.

This is for Teala, and all the other Fforde lovers.

Bent Spoon Shades Of Grey

Maybe next time I'll find one that is not bent, but I looked on the back and there was no postcode, so at least I know it isn't registered to anyone.

If you have not read Shades of Grey, this might not make sense to you, but that can be easily solved by going to the store immediately and picking up a copy. You won't be sorry you did.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Letting Go Of Negativity

I talk a lot about choosing joy and finding the beauty and perfection in small moments.

But.

It can be a real struggle for me to beat off depression as it tries to wrap its dark arms around me.

I also have a hard time asking for, or accepting, help.

I hide my fear and frustration behind negative words and thoughts.

Which could explain the look I gave Thomas when he held this book up to me in a half-joking attempt at letting me know my negative tendencies were showing.

Transforming Negative Self Talk

This picture has been sitting on the computer, staring at me every time I open up my picture files. I saw it this morning when I sat down to write. Sentence after sentence about wanting to go on strike against life.

Not exactly uplifting or inspirational.

There are days when you can only do what you can do.
This is one of those days.

I realize that I have spent far too much time focusing on things I can't fix and can't change. Leaving myself too mentally exhausted to focus on people who remind me of joy and things that make me happy. It is no wonder that my negativity is showing.

It is not time to go on strike. It is time to step back and practice self care.

Yellow Balloon and Tracie

It is time to stop hiding. It is time to take pictures with yellow balloons.

What do you do when negative thoughts invade your mind? 

Friday, January 25, 2013

It Is Okay To Fall

I feel like someone who is looking up and realizing for the first time that the sky goes on and on, and I can follow it anywhere. I can fly.

Then I hear that voice. Small. Insistent. Taunting. “What if you fall?” And all the fears that tether me to the ground come crashing down on me.

Georgia O'Keeffe quote

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I am so very excited to be a contributing writer at Just.Be.Enough. this year. Elena Sonnino has gathered some amazing women to write, and I am really enjoying getting to know them, and being a part of the team.

My first post is up today.

I'm talking about turning 30, embracing change, and taking action.

I hope to see you there.

Just Be Enough

Who wants to come flying with me? 

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

It Is Time To Celebrate Cursive Handwriting

Today is John Hancock's birthday. It is also National Handwriting Day.
It makes sense if you think about it.

Writing Thank You Cards

The art of cursive writing is disappearing - with people divided on the question of should we bother teaching cursive writing in schools, and many schools not teaching it at all.

I think cursive writing is an important thing to learn. When I was in elementary school, my school only allowed us to write in cursive.

While I don't think we need to take it that far (being able to print legibly is important, too), I did use the Spalding method for writing and phonics with Katarina, and cursive writing is a big part of that.

Page From Spalding Notebook

Although I don't always use proper cursive in my everyday writing (I have a cursive-print hybrid like my friend Jana), I have found myself going back to cursive more and more as I've been doing morning pages this year.

Sometimes when I'm stuck on things to write about, and the words won't flow, I write about the actual writing.

You wish you could have morning pages this exciting.

Journal Page

Today Katarina and I spent some of her school time writing thank you cards and sweet notes to mail to friends. It seemed a fitting way to celebrate National Handwriting Day, as along with cursive writing, handwritten notes seem to be a disappearing art.

Katarina Loves Writing

A little tip from me to you: Writing is more fun with fuzzy, striped socks on your feet, and dolls and stuffed animals watching.

Just in case you like to geek out about handwriting like I do, you can read this brief history of penmanship the History Channel put together last year.

*This post was not sponsored by Spalding - I mentioned it because it really is what we use and I love it. It was also not sponsored by the History Channel, nor by anyone else.

The crazy love of all things handwritten is all mine.

Do you write in cursive? Did your kids learn cursive writing?

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Amy Duncan Taught Me Important Things About Blogging

When I was watching the Good Luck Charlie season finale on Sunday...

Because Katarina likes it. Okay, and I like it, too.
Don't judge - I know I wasn't the only mom watching it!
If you don't have a kid, let me tell you that Good Luck Charlie is the funniest show you are not watching, and you are missing out.

Amy Duncan, the mom played by Leigh-Allyn Baker, started a blog.

There were some important tips in that episode that bloggers can use, and I'm going to share them with you today.

Important Blogging Tips From Good Luck Charlie

1. Blogging is not a competition. There are bloggers out there who treat it that way, but that really isn't what it is all about.

2. Spell check is your friend. Use it every time you post.

3. Unlike Amy, you will not be invited on a tv show to talk about your blog after the first week of blogging. (you also shouldn't plan on making enough money to quit your job that first week - if ever)

4. There is such a thing as being too cutesy. Even though you have a theme for your blog that involves a nest of birds, you do not have to constantly refer to yourself as "mama bird". The cutesy gets old fast. Stop it now.

5. "Half A Dozen Duncans" is a great name for a blog, but you really can not use it if you only have five kids.

6. Skippy Marie is not a great name for your made up 8 year old. (yes, she did this in the show)

7. Don't make up fake children for your blog. It is never a good idea.

Good Luck Charlie is a comedy, so of course they exaggerate situations to maximize the humor. I would hope that there aren't any bloggers out there with made up children, but sadly, I'm sure that is wrong. Scary.

The Rules Of Blogging

The most important blogging rule: Be Yourself.
As long as you remember that one, you will be awesome, and so will your blog.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Knowing And Understanding Your Worth

On Saturdays, I like to share one great thing I read during the week.
Today, this is that thing:

You Are A Lot

In this post, Sheena writes about having a Magical Monday. But what she is really writing about is remembering you are awesome, and that is something that will make every day magical.

"This has nothing to do with ego or arrogance or bragging or having a big head. 
It’s about knowing and understanding your worth, celebrating your success and accomplishments, and loving your self."
- Sheena

If you were to make a list of all the awesome things you have already done and already are...what would be on that list?

Friday, January 18, 2013

Moments of Perfection

Climbing back in bed early in the morning, on purpose, to cuddle next to the person you most love. To feel his arm slide around you, and pull you close. A blanket warm around you. To feel yourself wrapped into him. A faint stream of light from the window illuminating an otherwise dark room, and the hum of the tv quietly flitting about your ears. Sleep. Morning sleep, deep and strong. Comforting. The best kind of sleep.

Quietly praying while doing the dishes. Feeling the peace surround you as you hand over anxious thoughts and worries to Someone who can actually take care of them. Realizing you were so involved in your prayers that the dishes are done, without the annoyance that usually accompanies this less than loved task.

The smile that comes when you have explained a new math concept exactly the right way. The light of understanding hits your daughter's eyes and the excitement that comes with it as she proclaims, "I am good at math."

Warm tea. Slightly sweet, but not so much that it is distracting. (I found the most amazing tea. I'll tell you about it soon, because everyone needs to try it.) Warm tea and a good movie. Something real. Something true that pulls you into the story and out of your day.

Reading a book. The music in your ear repeatedly interrupted by the laughter of girls chatting on the computer about books, music, word games, and the silliest of things. The feeling of love that overcomes you as you see your daughter reaching out, and a friend reaching back to her.

Opening up your email, messages, twitter, and facebook to see notes and snippets from friends. Praying through tough times. Rejoicing in the triumphs. Together. Holding each other up, and walking together through everything.

The burst of creativity that calls out to you, and bids you to write. The final period. Hitting publish.

I hope you find these, and many other moments of perfection, in every day.

They make this life beautiful.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Today's Special Time Travel

It is time for one of those nostalgic conversations about television shows we loved as children.

For years I have tried to remember the name of one particular show I loved.

I described it to numerous people.

It came on Nickelodeon in the 80s. It was about a department store with a mannequin who came to life at night when the store was closed. There was a mouse who lived in the wall, and a hat lady who lived in the basement.

At this point in the conversation I am usually asked if I mean the movie Mannequin. I don't. (Although I really did like that movie when I was a kid.) Or the person looks at me like I'm crazy and I invented this show in my mind.

When I was at Lee's house recently, we had the "tv shows we loved as children" conversation, and I couldn't restrain myself from bringing up my nameless mannequin show. Not only did Lee remember it, she knew the name. Today's Special. A quick youtube search proved that we were not the only people who watched this show.

So. For everyone who has been secretly (or not so secretly) thinking I'm crazy for years, talking about my imaginary mannequin friend, this is Today's Special.
Today's Special Opening Theme video link

It was real. You should be sad you missed it.

When Lee and I told our kids to come watch this show on youtube with us, they were mystified that we were so excited. I'm pretty sure they think we are crazy now. But at least they don't think we spent our childhood years imagining tv shows that did not really exist.

Did you have a favorite childhood tv show no one else remembers?

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Ready To Start Again - With Curls

Christmas break (and flu break - ugh) are officially over, and school starts back up again tomorrow. Early morning wake-ups, scheduling, and increased organization here I come.

As I type this, Katarina is giving me pin curls. Which seems to mostly consist of spraying water all over me, twisting my hair, and then sticking bobby pins into my head.

I remember sitting on the couch behind my mother, and playing with her hair while we watched movies. I would pull out every single hair bow, clip, and barrette I owned. My goal was to fit all of them into her shoulder-length hair.

It is clear that Katarina has a more focused plan for her hair styling efforts. And I might just have curly hair for the restart of school, which will make me a very fancy mom.

So the important question is...who is going to bring me 6am coffee so I can wake up tomorrow?

Friday, January 11, 2013

Writing With Rita Arens

Rita Arens
Please welcome Rita Arens to the blog! She is a writer, BlogHer editor, and has been blogging at Surrender, Dorothy since 2004.

Rita is also the author of a new young adult novel coming out in February, The Obvious Game. I am only a few chapters into it, and I'm already hooked.



Today, Rita is sharing a little bit about her writing process.

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I've always been suspect of anyone who tells me I have to write every single day. There are few things I do every day save breathe, eat and sleep; why would writing be different?

I wonder if this rule exists for people who have trouble committing to the practice. I have an overdeveloped sense of ambition, so getting my butt in the chair isn't as hard as scheduling my butt in the chair, if that makes sense. I have a more-than-full-time job as an editor at BlogHer.com, an eight-year-old daughter, a husband, and a house that isn't going to clean itself -- much like everyone I know. If I tried to get up every day at 5 am to get some writing in, I'd soon grow to hate the one thing in my life that is completely mine and completely endorphin-producing, and I don't want to do that. So my writing process involves a lot more thinking and daydreaming and note-taking than actual writing.

One of my graduate writing professors talked about "couch time." He espoused spending a good amount of time thinking about what you wanted to write before you actually tried to sit down and do it. I find couch time and outlining really helpful. I started THE OBVIOUS GAME without outlining, and I ended up picking up outlining after I hit a rock twenty pages in. Suddenly I wasn't sure what I wanted to happen next, and I needed the outline to help me figure that out.

I revised THE OBVIOUS GAME more than one hundred times over a three-year period, mostly because I didn't know what I was doing. I'm hopeful I won't need quite as many revisions for my next novel, but I'm a lot more tolerant of them now than I was when I started. I now understand the entire first draft is essentially me trying to figure out what this book is about.

I struggled with structure in the earlier drafts of THE OBVIOUS GAME. I had too many characters. My story arcs didn't work together, and I had scenes in the book that didn't contribute to the forward movement of the whole. On one horrible day, I cut ten thousand words in two hours. It had to be done. It was a relief after, but boy, don't get too attached to word count for word count's sake.

When I'm actively working on a book, I make appointments with myself for both thinking and writing. I try to get a three-hour chunk at least once during the week during which I'm writing. Unless there's something huge going on when my husband and daughter will be out of the house on a weekend, it's usually a weeknight from 9-midnight. Prior to that writing, I try to spend twenty minutes a day imagining a scene, a character, whatever. I wear headphones when I'm thinking and writing, because the music sometimes takes me back to a memory or an emotion that I realize I really want to include. I write all the ideas down in a dedicated notebook. Then when I'm ready to write, I take those little nuggets and turn them into scenes. Sometimes they are in the right order, and sometimes they're not. The scene that originally opened THE OBVIOUS GAME is now at the end of the second act of the novel. I'm also a terrible eavesdropper and write down strangers' dialogue if I like it. Sorry, world. I save other people's conversations like some people save shoes, just waiting for the right opportunity.

I'm about twenty thousand words into the first draft of my second novel, and I've been using StoryMill software to lay out the scenes. I like it because I can export a certain scene and just focus on getting that one right, but later I can go back and see if there's a chunk in the book that's too repetitive or isn't moving fast enough. Pacing is a huge problem for me, because I want to go slower than a young adult novel needs to go. Having the software helps me see that, as well as if I've got undeveloped minor characters or other structural problems. I need to read on my Kindle to be able to see the writing problems. For some reason, my brain can gloss over boring sentences in Word but they come screaming out at me in my Kindle, where it presents like a real book. So after every big revision, I email the draft to my Kindle and take notes electronically, then have the Kindle open when I return to my Word document to fix what I found. The best writing advice I've had recently is this: If you find yourself jumping over sentences in your book, cut them. They're boring.

I could probably write books faster if I dedicated an hour a day to it, but I don't know if they would be better books. It takes me a while to see problems, and it seems unlikely I'll be able to quit my day job any time soon to spend that necessary three-hour amount of time each day on my writing. This is what works for me, and I don't feel one bit of guilt about not working on a novel every single day.

I think you have to do what works for you -- everyone's different.

*******************

The Obvious Game

The Obvious Game Cover"Everyone trusted me back then. Good old, dependable Diana. Which is why most people didn't notice at first."

"Your shirt is yellow."
"Your eyes are blue."
"You have to stop running away from your problems."
"You're too skinny."

Fifteen-year-old Diana Keller accidentally begins teaching The Obvious Game to new kid Jesse on his sixteenth birthday. As their relationship deepens, Diana avoids Jesse's past with her own secrets -- which she'll protect at any cost.

The Obvious Game will be available in February 2013, and can be preordered now. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the Eating Disorder Foundation.

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

A Reading List That Should Get Me Through Two Months Of Reading

I plan to make good use of the library this year.

Agatha Christie
I am going to start with Agatha Christie. I've been thinking about her since Megan mentioned reading all of the Hercule Poirot novels in November. I was a devoted Miss Marple fan when I was a kid, but I know that I missed many of Poirot's stories.

(This has nothing to do with Poirot, but I love the quote.)

When I went to Megan's blog to link to that post, I saw that she is talking about Poirot again today, which probably means me writing this post is kismet. (Except I'm not entirely sure what kismet means, only that I love the way it sounds and greatly desire to say it all the time.)

Edgar Rice Burroughs
My new favorite movie is John Carter. I'm not sure how I missed seeing it until now, except that I do recall the previews were not great, and I'm pretty sure the marketing campaign killed it before it had a chance. But now that I've seen it, I'm slightly obsessed. This brings me to Edgar Rice Burroughs' Barsoom novels. Watching the movie before reading the books violated my book-first rule, but seeing as how I was already into the movie before I realized there were books it couldn't be helped.

I remember my uncle had all the Tarzan books stacked in drawers. Slim, black hardcovers. Some held together with tape. I never really got into them, although I did read a few. I'm hoping that my journey with Barsoom will be a better fit.

Georgette Heyer
I have been intrigued by her since Jennie mentioned them to me in a comment recently.

Gone Girl
Shell was talking it up on her list of keepers from 2012. Everyone has read this book but me. And the 437 people who are currently on the waiting list for it at the library.

Carol Shields
I read Unless last year and loved it so very much. I want to read the rest of her work this year. I might even try the poetry books.

???
What do you suggest I read this year? What will you be reading?

Monday, January 07, 2013

Cookies, Tea, and Downton Abbey

A lovely box of Madeleines from Donsuemor arrived in my mail last week.

Fancy Box of Cookies

We were all much too sick to eat them, which was sad.

So we waited.

And we stared at the pretty box.

Last night we finally felt good enough to try them. Just in time for the return of Downton Abbey, which was great timing.

Tea and Cookies

Downton Abbey requires tea. Tea loves cookies. Katarina and I love all of them - Downton, tea, and cookies.

The Madeleines were amazing. They looked like they would be hard like a cracker, but they were soft and chewy, and exactly the right texture for a tea party cookie. The Lemon Zest were my favorite. They tasted especially good with Earl Grey tea.

The Downton Abbey was pretty amazing, too.

It all added together to make a nice Sunday night.

Do you like to have specific snacks when you watch movies or television shows?

**Legal stuff: I was provided a box of Donsuemor Madeleines to try. I was not compensated in any other way, and I was not required to say nice things. 

Saturday, January 05, 2013

Now Accepting Submissions for the January 2013 Edition of the Blog Against Child Abuse

The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse is a monthly event. Its purpose is to raise awareness about the serious issue of child abuse. All forms of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, verbal) are discussed.

Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse

The January 2013 edition of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse will be hosted at The Wounded Warrior.

The theme will be: New Beginnings
"I would like to hear about how your life has changed since you broke your own silence. This, I hope, will act as a shining light to other survivors who are still living with the bonds of silence tightly around them, choking and restricting their lives."

Jan's announcement post has some great thoughts on standing with other survivors and supporting each other. I'm very excited about the theme for this month.

All of our regular categories will also be open:
-Advocacy and Awareness
-Aftermath
-Healing and Therapy
-In the News
-Poetry
-Survivor Stories
-Art Therapy

The deadline for submissions is January 27th, and the carnival will be posted on the 30th. I'm excited to see what y'all share this month. You can submit something written especially for this edition, but please feel free to submit an older post as well.

To submit a blog post, please fill out this form.

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The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse provides an opportunity to raise awareness about the serious issue of child abuse and to share important posts with others who might not be frequent readers of an author's blog. There are so many wonderful bloggers who are contributing to the cause of ending and recovering from child abuse. If you, as a reader or author, know of other blogs that you find helpful, please encourage them to submit to an upcoming issue of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse so we can continue to receive high quality submissions from a wide swath of bloggers.

Many thanks to all of you who shared your hearts and stories with us, and to all of you who read the submissions and show your support. You keep this carnival, the awareness, support, and healing going each month.

To provide another way for you to stay in contact with the blog carnival, and make sure you don't miss any updates; you can like the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse Facebook Page.

Thank you for raising your voice and speaking out against child abuse!

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

One Word: Act

It is not a resolution. It is one word to focus on.

My word for 2013 is ACT.

Act

I spent a lot of time thinking about my word for this year. I was drawn to the word change, feeling like 2013 is going to be a year of great change for me. But it did not feel completely right.

Yesterday I was on facebook, and saw this from my friend Cherie LaLanne,

"However many inspiring or encouraging words, truths, and promises we read or speak, what good will they do you if we do not act on them?" 

I immediately knew that I had found my word. Act.

Change requires action.

If I want to see big changes in my life this year, it is important that I don't just sit quietly and wait for change to happen to me.

I need to go after those changes.

I need to act on the ideas, plans, and dreams in my heart.

I need to be open to where God is leading me, and take the steps necessary to get there.
act

2013 is going to be my year of action.

What one word would you pick for 2013?
If you want to join a community of people living out One Word in 2013, check out One Word 365.