Thoughts On A Year Of Hope

I picked the word hope for my 2012 one word focus. Now that a new year is upon us, it is time to share what I learned about hope with y'all.

I wrote Hope Fills My Life in October, and it pretty much stands as a testament to what focusing on hope did for me. Hope saved my life.

There is one result of focusing on hope I haven't written about, and that is what I want to share today. Hope is one step away from dreaming. Planning. Feeling like plans and dreams could one day come true.

Hope leads to dreaming, and dreaming requires hope.
I have been writing down dreams lately. I am writing them in a special, yellow journal sent by a friend for the purpose of dreaming big. They are even finding their way into my morning pages, pouring out of me.

When I embarked on this year of hope, I had no idea that it would end in me learning how to dream, but that is exactly what has happened.


I am open to believing one day I'm gonna do...anything.
My friend Misty died last week. I haven't had the words to write about her in this space. Everything I type seems so trite, and not enough to explain a whole life lived courageously.

Misty talked about all the things she was "gonna do" one day. She didn't let pain or disability hold back her dreams, even if they were delayed. She kept hope alive. She dreamed big.

So in honor of Misty, after a year spent learning how to hope, I'm going to share some of my dreams with you.

One Day I'm Gonna...

• Move
• Go to college.
• Find the balance between eating doughnuts and being healthy.
• Leave this continent.
• Be published.
• Learn how to sew.
• Go to Oregon.
• Work at a library.
• Paint something really beautiful.

This year has taught me so much; lessons I will carry with me forever.
I was blessed in 2012 - my year of hope. I hope you were blessed as well.

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There is a memorial for Misty at Band Back Together today. She was one of our volunteers, and a sister of our hearts. Tia and Teala have also written beautiful words about Misty that made me cry.

We are sharing our #onedayimgonna dreams on twitter. Big and small.
I would love to read yours.

Misty, you will be forever loved. Always. And one day I'm gonna make those shortbread cookies we talked so much about. Thank you for inspiring me, and making my world a brighter place.

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Wrapping Up 2012

In the grand tradition started last year (and made tradition by being repeated this year), I am going to finish 2012 by looking back at twelve pictures and twelve posts that will give you an overview of my year.

Pictures of 2012
Looking through a person's pictures is a great way of seeing what is important to them, and what they love.

These are some of my favorite pictures from this year.
January

I started a year-long focus on Hope. 

February

We enjoyed a rainy day and a polka dotted umbrella.

March

The computer and a happy cup of tea. Bliss.

April

Wearing my favorite jeans for a good cause.

May

My favorite picture of Thomas and Katarina from 2012.

June

You can hold joy in your hand.

July

My favorite picture of me and Katarina from 2012.

August

Being silly in a red telephone booth. 

September

Writing. Reading. Studying. Growing. Finding Hope.

October

Katarina riding in a race car. (I'm still jealous)

November

The moon says hello.

December

Making gingerbread men with Lee's kids from My Sentiment ExactLee.

Blog Posts of 2012
These posts are not necessarily the ones that had the most traffic, comments, or shares. They are simply my favorite posts from each month. The ones I really enjoyed writing.

January - Waiting To Be Picked Up - I love my books and my books love me. A piece of fiction. Maybe.

February - How (Not) To Bowl - I have amazing bowling skills. You are jealous your bowling skills aren't quite as loud special as mine.

March - Mind Painting - This is my creative process.
Saying Good-Bye to The Encyclopedia Britannica - I will always love you.

April - My Grandma's 88th Birthday - 88th birthdays should be celebrated all year.

May - When Life Implodes - My first time writing flash fiction. Also, probably the shortest blog post I have every published.

June - Things I'm Afraid To Tell You - Hard core honesty. Boom.
I also enjoyed reading the posts other people wrote for this movement.

July - Ten Years On Our Way To Forever - Ten years ago we stood in our pastor's house at midnight, and made promises to each other. This post chronicles those ten years. (For our third 10th anniversary, Thomas and I made lists of 10 Things We Learned From 10 Years Of Marriage.)

August - Why Do You Write - Just call me Anne Shirley or Jo March.

September - Pretend Fall Survival Kit - This is how we get prepared for fall at our house, even though fall never actually shows up.

October - The Turtle And The Green Collection - Happy school memories of recesses and starting clubs.

November - Relaxing In The Bathtub - Baths are not relaxing. Not at all.

December - How to Make The Perfect Christmas Card And Letter - May this inspire you to Christmas card greatness for next year.


This has been 2012...from Tracie.

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Fancy Blueberry Morning

The highlight of our Christmas was breakfast.

It was yummy, which is an important breakfast qualification.

But more importantly, Katarina cooked it.
(I only helped with cracking eggs and picture interruptions)

Katarina woke up at 6am to cook, and didn't even ask about presents until she was finished...and my heart grew three sizes.

Blueberry Fancy.

Layer Italian bread, blueberries, and cream cheese.

Did you know you can buy eggs in a half dozen? I did not.
(shhh - y'all know I don't cook)

Combine eggs, milk, and vanilla.

Once the wet ingredients are well mixed, they get poured over the layers of bread, blueberries, and cream cheese.

Cook on low for 3-4 hours.

Don't peek until the timer buzzes. (This was the hardest part of the recipe!)

Add a little maple syrup, and it is time to eat. And eat. And eat.

This was the first time Katarina used her new slow cooker, and it was an unquestioned success. Next she wants to try making chicken. I'm pretty sure she got her cooking genes from her dad. I have no complaints.

Was your Christmas breakfast as good as mine?
It's okay to be jealous if it wasn't.

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Christmas Peace

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, full of peace and love.

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December 2012 Edition Blog Against Child Abuse

The December 2012 Edition of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse is up at Scattered Pieces.

I want to thank castorgirl for all the work she did, hosting and organizing the carnival. We have some great submissions this month, and a theme of Reflecting On The Positives.

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The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse provides an opportunity to raise awareness about the serious issue of child abuse and to share important posts with others who might not be frequent readers of an author's blog. There are so many wonderful bloggers who are contributing to the cause of ending and recovering from child abuse. If you, as a reader or author, know of other blogs that you find helpful, please encourage them to submit to an upcoming issue of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse so we can continue to receive high quality submissions from a wide swath of bloggers.

Many thanks to all of you who shared your hearts and stories with us, and to all of you who read the submissions and show your support. You keep this carnival, the awareness, support, and healing going each month.

To provide another way for you to stay in contact with the blog carnival, and make sure you don't miss any updates, we have a Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse Facebook Page.

Thank you for raising your voice and speaking out against child abuse!

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Not Bereft Of The Small Things

I have been without some of my words. The words that I am ready or able to share here have gone missing, and I'm still looking for them. Jennie used a great word this morning, and it resonated with me. Bereft. I have been bereft of the words that I need for writing in this space.

The words that are clamoring to be written seem very whiny (I'm saving you from the whine). Others are just sad. But most of them just seem so trite.

There are days to write inspired, beautiful things, and there are days to write because it is a need. No matter how trite the words seem, you have to write them to get to those other words that are hiding.

So I'm going to tell you things. Small things.

I found a playlist on Spotify that is all hammer dulcimer music. The owner of the playlist randomly updates it every couple of weeks, and right now it is full of Christmas music. This makes me very happy.

This morning I wrote a love song. Ballad of the Doughnut. It is sure to be a hit. It is also sure to make my family cover their heads with pillows and groan when I sing it loudly to wake them up.

On Saturday, Katarina and I got to spend time with very dear friends who are usually far away. We laughed, ate, read a cookbook, and talked. It was wonderful. Especially the cookbook (something you never thought you would see me say, but it is true).

I am still working my way through that giant tub full of books (not to be confused with reading books in the tub). It is great to finally catch up on books that everyone else read ten years ago. Like The Other Boleyn Girl, which I read last night, and enjoyed more than I expected. I'm sure much of it is historically suspect, but that is a reading and research project for a different day.

Small things - I've heard that the small things are actually the big things, but I can't prove that because it sounds suspiciously like a math problem.

Happy things - Even if the small things aren't actually the big things, they most certainly are the happy things, and that is worth celebrating.

What small thing brought you happiness?

*Linking up with Shell and Pour Your Heart Out.

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Look For The Helpers

On Saturdays, I like to share one great thing I read during the week.
Today, this is that thing:

I am still without words after the tragedy that happened yesterday in Connecticut. I think, in a lot of ways, that is okay. What happened was not about me. It is not my story to tell. As much as it breaks my heart, I am still removed from it; I could not even begin to imagine what those families are going through.

In the days to come, we will learn the name of each victim whose life was cut tragically short. We will learn stories of heroism and help that happened in that school. We will search for answers that probably don't exist, and try to find understanding that will probably never come.

I'm sure we will also hear countless speeches and debates about every aspect of this tragedy - but this is not the day for those things. The speeches and debates and questions can wait. For those of us who don't live in Newtown, Connecticut, this is not our story, and we should honor the people who are living through this tragedy by not using it as a political talking point.

This is a day to concentrate on the families who lost loved ones and the children who lost their innocence.

This is a day to offer support to a community that is grieving.

This is a day to pray, and offer help where we can.

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How To Make The Perfect Christmas Card and Letter

It is time to plan Christmas cards. And if you are really ambitious, it is time to write your *long, newsy Christmas letters.

This year, I thought I would show everyone a classic Florida Christmas.

I took this picture last week. Doesn't Katarina look cold? Brrrr.

Katarina has a Poinsettia.

Poinsettias are Christmasy, right?

Okay. I'll admit it. It doesn't look very Christmasy.

I can't help it that it is approximately 90 degrees here.

(I hope Poinsettias don't require cold temperatures to live.)

What about this?

Better. Almost there.

But, wait!

I need a Christmas letter, carefully detailing all of our exciting news from the last year.

I can't send out just a card with no letter. What will people think?

I will be forever regulated to the Christmas-Card-Slacker list for sure.

Hmm. Let me think. What have we been doing all year?

If only I had kept a carefully detailed record of our adventures...

Oh yes. I know exactly what to write.

I think that covers it.

Happy Christmas Card creating, y'all.


*I actually love getting long, newsy letters with Christmas cards. They make me happy. And occasionally they make me laugh when I mock them. Not that I would ever actually do that. Ahem.

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Nobody Can Do It All

On Saturdays, I like to share one great thing I read during the week.
Today, this is that thing:

Are you exhausting yourself by moving from one thing to the next? Never feeling fully content with the things you are doing, because there are just so.many.things on your list, and not enough time to devote to each one?

I loved the ideas in Centered Through Creativity from Erica at Style of a Songbird. This post made me evaluate the time I have set aside for creating, journalling, and writing, and think about some ways I could be more organized. It was a good reminder that some things do not have to be an everyday focus.

"I invite you to carve out some *you* time, whatever that looks like, 
(for me, creating) and honor the priorities you've set for yourself. 
You are free from trying to fit it all in." 

-Erica 

She also linked to a workbook and planner that look really interesting. Perfect timing as we are about to start a new year, and I'm thinking and praying about what my focus word is going to be for 2013.

What is stealing your focus from the things you want to do?

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Beso Rewards: A Great Way To Make Money

With the holidays upon us, everyone is thinking about shopping and wishing they could make extra money.

I have a great tip that encompasses both of those things - Beso Rewards.

Beso is a shopping search engine for brands and stores. They have products from all over, including Guess, Old Navy, Macy’s, The Limited, Levi's, and more. Beso doesn't actually sell anything, they organize it all in one place so you can compare pieces and prices.

Beso's new rewards program is a great way for bloggers or anyone active on social media to earn money when they share. Signing up for a Beso.com account is free and easy, and you are automatically entered into the rewards program when you sign up.

What is Beso Rewards? It is an affiliate program.
You earn money when people click on your links.

How does it work?
When you find a cute jacket, or kickin' boots, do you share them on Facebook or pin them to Pinterest?

Perfect.

Next time you want to shop online, log into your Beso account. Look at all the great items they have, apparel, gadgets, jewelry and accessories, and even things for your home.

When you find something you love, share share it through social media, just like you normally would.

If someone clicks on that post, you will earn money. 

It really is that simple.

But doesn't someone need to buy the item for me to make money? Unlike most affiliate programs you get paid per click on your links.

That is what I really like about Beso, I don't feel like I have to work to make sales or spend time writing a bunch of blog posts. I get paid for doing something I would normally do for free - shopping online and sharing great stuff that I love. And that is a beautiful thing.

Beso is a shopping search engine for brands and stores. They have millions of products from thousands of stores that you can shop in one place AND a roster of editors who narrow it all down to the best stuff out there. Win!

Recently, Beso introduced an affiliate program called Beso Rewards. When you use their links to share content, you get paid every time someone clicks – whether they buy the item or not. 

Beso is a great tool for bloggers looking to monetize their site. Check out the tracking tools and account management features that make your job easy NOW!

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Beso. The opinions and text are all mine.

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In Remembrance Of Me

I read a blog post about communion today.

"This is Christ's body, broken for you," it said.

"Do this in remembrance of Me," I heard.

And I remembered.

There was a time I took communion every week.

It seemed so radical to take weekly communion, such a break from my Baptist upbringing, but I loved it. I waited expectantly for that moment in the service. I wondered why the church of my childhood had only done it once a year. I thought it was mostly due to how long it took to pass all those silver plates around the huge room, taking up most of the time carved out of people's Sunday mornings for a church service. And I grieved to think that we gave up that beautiful moment 51 weeks of the year because it took too long to serve everyone in the room.

This is Christ's body, broken for you.

I was once healed during a communion service. It isn't the first thought most people have when communion comes to mind, but for me communion is so much about healing. Not just that physical healing I experienced, but a healing of the spirit and soul.

Do this in remembrance of Me.

I am trying to remember how long it has been since I've taken communion.

Two years. Maybe three.

Three years is a long time to not do something you love.

Three years is a long time to not have that moment of peace totally focused on Jesus.

This is the real honesty: I have only been to church a handful of times in the last five years.

It grieves me now to think that I gave up that beautiful moment almost 260 times because of hurt feelings, and dashed hopes, and transportation issues, and a faith crisis, and confusion, and fear.

I miss communion - the cracker and grape juice kind of communion, and the fellowship of the saints kind of communion.

Sometimes the simplest things seem so big and so hard.

Sometimes the things I want to do are the exact things I do not do.

And sometimes when I open up a bottle of Katarina's favorite grape juice, and stand by the refrigerator taking a swig out of the bottle, I think "Do this in remembrance of Me," and a tear slides down my cheek.

*This is the blog post I read today, from Rachel Held Evans. 

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Child Alone

Sherry Green sent me a copy of her memoir Child Alone in October, and it has taken me a long time to write about it. I'm sure she might think I forgot about her. I took my time reading Child Alone. It is a book that deserves undivided attention, and can not be rushed through.

As a child, Sherry was abused by the adults in her life, and failed by the foster care system that was tasked with protecting her. As an adult, she searched for healing and ultimately found her voice through writing.

How do you take someone's deeply personal story and review it? It is hard. From a book standpoint, I want to tell you that Sherry weaved together a masterpiece. Each chapter reveals a piece of her childhood and a snapshot of her life as an adult. This showed over and over again how our childhoods inform who we will become as adults, and we can't just leave those years behind as if they didn't happen. It also showed the depth of strength inside Sherry as she overcame addiction, raised her daughter, worked hard in therapy, went to college, and pushed herself to dream again and go after those dreams.

Sherry's story is very different from mine, but I felt so deeply the similarities in some of the aftereffects of the abuse: feeling frozen, wishing someone would just see the pain and confusion, unsure who or how to trust, unable to speak even when your mind is begging you to just say something. That last one is especially difficult to explain to someone, but she managed to convey those feelings in such a powerful way. I sat with the book in my hands, and tears pouring down my face, as I read about her loosing that internal battle to just say one word when she was so desperate to ask for help.

If you have ever wondered, "Why didn't that child tell someone what was happening?" or "Doesn't that woman realize her relationship is abusive; why is she staying?" I would encourage you to read this book, as it gives such an honest look inside of a girl, and later a woman, who was trying to make sense of the world and the thoughts and feelings swirling around inside of her.

I was inspired by Sherry's story of overcoming and healing, and the honestly with which she shared it in this book.

You can find Sherry Green's blog and more information about Sherry and her work at Wounded Breeze Communications.

One last note about Child Alone. Half of the profits from each copy that is sold go to CASA, a not-for-profit organization advocating for children who have been abused and neglected and are under the protection of the Juvenile Courts. CASA and their volunteers do amazing work.

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Why Am I In The Short Hole?

We went to the pet store to play with small, furry animals.

By the door, they had this picture spot:

I am in the hole for the pet. I don't know how easy it would be to get your pet to stand with his head in the hole while someone takes a picture, but it was strangely easy for my family to get me to do it.

And the pet store floor? Cleaner than you would imagine.

At least that is what I'm telling myself.

(Do you think I should wash my hands with bleach?)

This is why we need a puppy.

Silly pictures make Katarina laugh, and that makes me happy.
Even when I'm laying on the pet store floor.

The picture is worth it, right?

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Create Your Own Stories

I read last week that NBC is remaking The Sound of Music.
Carrie Underwood will be playing Maria von Trapp.

Do I need to give you a moment to go throw up?
Don't worry. I'll wait.

About the casting choice, head of NBC entertainment Robert Greenblatt said, "[Maria von Trapp] was an iconic woman who will now be played by an iconic artist."

I suppose he felt this movie must be remade, because Maria von Trapp has never been portrayed on film by an icon before.

Or because no one wants to take the time to write their own movies.

I'm leaning toward the second answer.

It is the same answer I came up with when I wondered why Lifetime was remaking Steel Magnolias (and we all know how that turned out - not good).

I understand that people really want to be a part of classic stories. But some movies are such classics, so iconic, that any remake will fail to live up to the standard created by the original. It would be better to find your own special thing to be a part of, than to spend your time and energy trying to recreate someone else's classic moment.

The retelling of classic stories is even more upsetting in books.
A couple of months ago I was in the grocery store, and they had a big box full of books on sale. I couldn't pass it by without looking through it. This is how I discovered a new version of Little Women.

Little Vampire Women by Louisa May Alcott and Lynn Messina. That is actually how the author credit on the front of the book is written. As if Louisa May Alcott okayed Messina's turning the story inspired by her real sisters into a vampire book.

I would not say this book was written by Alcott and Messina. It was written by Alcott, and largely plagarized by Messina with a vampire twist thrown in for fun.

Alcott isn't the only author whose works have been ripped off, you can also read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, Emma and the Vampires, Jane Slayre, Android Karenina, and a host of others.

It seems particularly poor taste to do this to Little Women when you think about Professor Bhaer encouraging Jo to stop writing sensationalized magazine stories. I have to wonder what the professor would think about this retelling.

Retelling other people's stories is not how you create something special.

If NBC wants to make a movie about a singing nun, they should hire someone to write a new singing nun story. If they want to focus on Maria von Trapp, they could write a movie more factually based on her autobiography (that would actually be very interesting to watch).

If Messina wants to write a vampire story, she should do that - with characters and a story that aren't already owned by someone else.

If you want to make something special, create your own stories and write your own words. This is what makes you a real writer, a real artist, a real creator, and gives you the chance to be a part of something special.

What do you think of Carrie Underwood as Maria von Trapp?
Have you read any of these classic book remakes?

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Now Accepting Submissions for the December 2012 Edition of the Blog Against Child Abuse

The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse is a monthly event. Its purpose is to raise awareness about the serious issue of child abuse. All forms of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, verbal) are discussed.


The December edition of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse will be hosted at Scattered pieces.

The theme will be: Reflecting On The Positives
"I've put forward this theme, as I really struggle with this time of year, and often forget the positives that I've experienced as the maelstrom that is the end of year, envelopes me. So, anything that we can do to help ground us has got to be good."

castorgirl's announcement post has some great thoughts on the theme and finding positives.

All of our regular categories will also be open:
-Advocacy and Awareness
-Aftermath
-Healing and Therapy
-In the News
-Poetry
-Survivor Stories
-Art Therapy

The deadline for submissions is December 19th, and the carnival will be posted on the 20th. I'm excited to see what y'all share this month. You can submit something written especially for this edition, but please feel free to submit an older post as well.

To submit a blog post, please fill out this form.

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The Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse provides an opportunity to raise awareness about the serious issue of child abuse and to share important posts with others who might not be frequent readers of an author's blog. There are so many wonderful bloggers who are contributing to the cause of ending and recovering from child abuse. If you, as a reader or author, know of other blogs that you find helpful, please encourage them to submit to an upcoming issue of the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse so we can continue to receive high quality submissions from a wide swath of bloggers.

Many thanks to all of you who shared your hearts and stories with us, and to all of you who read the submissions and show your support. You keep this carnival, the awareness, support, and healing going each month.

To provide another way for you to stay in contact with the blog carnival, and make sure you don't miss any updates; you can like the Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse Facebook Page.

Thank you for raising your voice and speaking out against child abuse!

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That's The Powerful Stuff

On Saturdays, I like to share one great thing I read during the week.
Today, this is that thing:

Have you ever had one of those moments when something goes wrong, and you just feel really angry? Maybe the rest of your day was fine, but that night all you could think about was the thing that went wrong?

Let me be the first person to raise my hand, and admit that I have found myself doing this far too often.

My friend at Incurable Hope wrote about a story that stayed in the back of her memory, until she was ready to understand its deeper meaning.

"How often we look at something and lament over what didn’t go well.

How little we look at a stumble, and rejoice in the fact that we didn’t fall."

- Incurable Hope

What little blessings have you overlooked, missing their power?

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