Thoughts On A Year Of Courage

Last year I picked the word courage for my one word focus. I put a lot of thought into that word before I picked it. I had a lot of ideas how I was going to do this whole courage thing. Now that 2011 has come to a close (am I the only one who is happy to see it go?) I am looking back and seeing that courage was not at all what I thought it would be.

The written things: When I look at the list of intentional courageous choices I wrote in my one word blog post last year, I can honestly say there were a lot of times I did choose courage. I looked at that list on so many hard days, and made myself read it.

The unwritten things: My secret list of things I was going to do - not one of them was accomplished. But to balance that out, there were some things I never dreamed or imagined would come my way (working with the amazing people at Band Back Together is a huge one!) that I stepped out in courage and got involved with.

The honest things: Remember when I said I had a lot of ideas how I was going to do this courage thing? What that really means is this - I had visions of the goals on my secret list that I was going to accomplish, and how they would tie in with my courage theme.

I never had that spiritual moment when God revealed a word to me, so I picked one. And I'm not saying that was wrong, or even that my choice was wrong, but there was a part of me that was so prepared to control this journey down the courage path. I was composing victory blog posts in my mind by the end of January 2nd. And I spent a lot of time frustrated that those plans and victory blog posts did not come to fruition.

When I examine that frustration, I realize it is really tied into that secret list of mine - and has very little to do with my courage focus. I realize that I still see courage the way I wrote about it back in the beginning of January 2011. When I compare my year to that list, I feel a lot of the frustration melt away. I certainly didn't live the list perfectly, but I was blessed during the times I intentionally focused on it and let it inform and inspire my choices.

I'm grateful for this year of courage. I'm grateful that my word traveled with me and touched my life, even when it wasn't happening the way I had imagined it would.

I still have more road to travel on the courageous path. I'm pretty sure it is something I will be working on for the rest of my life. I'm okay with that.

Tomorrow I'm going to tell you my word for 2012.
I am going in a new direction this year, and I'm really excited about it.

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