Unplanned Words

Headphones on, email checked and closed, facebook and twitter closed, and I am ready to write.

write.

write.

something.

something my mind has been thinking about.

but.

my heart demands that I write words unplanned.

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I planned to tell you about this moment when I walked by Katarina's bed late last night.

A sleepy giggle escaped (there is nothing sweeter than the sound of a kid laughing in her sleep) as she rolled over. I pulled up the purple blanket that always finds itself at the end of her bed, and tucked it in around her.

I leaned over and breathed deeply the smell of shampooed hair, and gave her a kiss; whispering in her ear, "I love you," the way I do each night.

This feeling of awe settled on me. She is mine. My child, a piece of my heart laying there in the bed, asleep, giggling. Growing up, and yet still little. She is depending on me, trusting she will sleep safely, believing nothing bad will come in the night.

My heart demands that I write words unplanned.

Tonight I watched a 60 Minutes special about homeless families. Families who happen to live very close to me. Families who live in their cars because they can't afford a cheap motel in even the worst part of town, much less an apartment.

The reality of this story sits too close to me. My breath catches. I look over and see Katarina sleeping, blanket kicked off. I walk to her bed, and tuck that purple blanket around her. As I lean over to whisper in her ear, the words catch in my throat. A tear falls on her pillow.

A pastor once told me that when he did jail ministry, he always tried to remember he was only three bad days away from being in that situation.

My mind is full of thoughts of kids living in cars...and I won't allow myself to calculate how many bad days it would take for us to be there, because it is too scary.

My heart demands that I write words unplanned. My mind is not ready yet, to share that much of myself, but this is a start.

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Right now, almost 25 percent of kids in America are living in poverty (that is more than 16 million kids, the most since 1962) - some of whom don't know where they will sleep tonight, or if they will have food to eat. For $1, you can give 8 meals, a small amount to help a family not go to bed hungry. 

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