The pain is too much.
The hurt too deep.
The questions too many, and the answers too few.
It becomes too hard to put on a smile and show the world that everything is fine, when it so obviously is not fine.
The words hide deep within.
***************************************************
I am convinced the stress of the last month has driven the words right out of me. I sit, staring at the blinking cursor, and can't type. I hold my journal and pen, and can't write.
It is a dark place when words fail you.
Today Katarina had words. A poem. A story. She wrote and typed and emailed. I sneaked a look at her, and saw the pencil tap tap tapping on her pad. She erased furiously, then wrote more.
After she fell asleep, I help her pad in my hand and felt the weight of her words. The lightness. The hope.
I opened my email and read her story beginning. Not deterred by a blinking cursor, she had typed sentence after sentence, ended it with a big I LOVE YOU! and signed it with her full name.
The passion and excitement radiated off the screen, and I felt it shine within me. For just a second, in the darkness, I felt hope break through. And I caught a glimpse of my words. Still there. Waiting.
This was a five minute stream of consciousness.
If you want to participate - write for five minutes and visit Fadra.
It is a dark place when words fail you.
Today Katarina had words. A poem. A story. She wrote and typed and emailed. I sneaked a look at her, and saw the pencil tap tap tapping on her pad. She erased furiously, then wrote more.
After she fell asleep, I help her pad in my hand and felt the weight of her words. The lightness. The hope.
I opened my email and read her story beginning. Not deterred by a blinking cursor, she had typed sentence after sentence, ended it with a big I LOVE YOU! and signed it with her full name.
The passion and excitement radiated off the screen, and I felt it shine within me. For just a second, in the darkness, I felt hope break through. And I caught a glimpse of my words. Still there. Waiting.
This was a five minute stream of consciousness.
If you want to participate - write for five minutes and visit Fadra.
Tracie sorry for the difficulty you are having. Here listening.....
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to find the right words when you feel so dark. All you needed was a flash light.:)
ReplyDeleteI am still thinking of you and your family in this difficult time and sending strength and hope.
I just read this and your previous posts. I am so sorry to hear this, but all my prayers for strength and health at this time.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Tears ~
ReplyDeleteHow exquisite the beauty and honesty -
In gratitude and appreciation I send you warmest Love and Hugs ~
I myself have been dealing with my own darkness but have been trying to claw my way out, looking for the light...hang in there. Sending you good vibes!
ReplyDelete♥ <--- This. Just... this. Love you, Wonder-Twin. So many prayers going up for you.
ReplyDeleteYou and your family are in my prayers. The words will come again.
ReplyDeleteYour streams of consciousness are breathtaking in their poignancy and beauty.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're having darkness. I will say some prayers for you and your family for health and healing.
Look for the light and you will find it.
So this is why you are on my mind. I too have been having issues with the words.. but check your fb I tagged a picture with you in mind..
ReplyDelete"For just a secOndD in the darkness, hope shone through"...it always comes when we least expect it to..hang onto it for life. We are all here to help you.
ReplyDeleteGiant hugs.
Tracie,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are feeling so low, friend. I haven't been here in awhile, and I'm not sure if you shared what's going on, but I'm praying the words will find you again.
Dear Tracie,
ReplyDeleteYou are loved -- so very loved! It can feel so dark but the truth is that you are surrounded by light. You and your loved ones remain in my prayers.
xoxo
Traci
You always move me to tears with your beautiful writing. I am sorry you are in a bad place and wish you happier, lighter days ahead. Hugs, my young friend!
ReplyDeleteTracie - thinking about you. I know you'll get it back soon. Big hug.
ReplyDeletebeautiful
ReplyDeletesometimes the difficult times bring out the creativity that the better times will appreciate.
hang in there
I'm not sure what to say? I was just hopping over to play catch up with you. I read this and then watched your video. I don't know what to say other than I'm proud of you. Some days are dark but over all you have completely kicked A**. You are a survivor. (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI'm convinced that there are no such things as "the right words." Only the words that you feel. Sometimes writing them doesn't do them justice. It's okay to keep them floating around in your head until they are ready to come out.
ReplyDelete{hugs} to you