Will you forgive me?
Will you think back and remember that time I yelled over something that was really so very small?
Will you forgive me?
Will you remember too much fast food and no homemade cookies?
Will you forgive me?
Will you see all the ways your life was different from those around you?
Will you forgive me?
Will you have to pay for the decisions I made that changed your life?
Will you forgive me?
Will you think about that time that you couldn't have a dog?
Will you forgive me?
Will you remember too much time spent watching tv?
Will you forgive me?
I wonder how we will make it through another day like this....and I wonder....Will you forgive me?
But what my heart really wants to know is.........Do I deserve your forgiveness?
This is my Sunday five minute stream of consciousness.
More five minute posts can be found at All Things Fadra.
Diana GA
ReplyDeleteYES. Continue to love and after a moment you wonder about, go back, reconnect, hug, hug, hug, say you love them. I never felt like I missed out on anything. I never blamed for bad food. I was happy to have food to eat. I appreciated the struggle, even as a kid (as much as a kid can). As an adult, nothing to forgive. My mom did all she could. I can only appreciate that. Even if I wonder about something, if she could have done it different, I accept and remember all the card games, the bingo, the time we spent together. THAT's what I remember. I remember she was funny. *HUGS*
Ah Tracie. This post was perfect. You said everything I'm thinking. I always ALWAYS want to be the best mom. But I rarely live up to that image in my mind. I think the fact that we feel this way indicates that we must be good moms, or we really wouldn't care.
ReplyDeleteI don't think a one of us as mom's have not felt this way at some point or another. Time missed, or not well spent leads to mom guilt. But as long as you have made memories and I know you have because you have pictures to prove it, then she will forgive. Now forgive yourself.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post! It hit home and yes your daughter will remember the good and great moments.
ReplyDelete~Elyse
Very provoking. I hope my kids forgive my shortcomings.
ReplyDeleteI actually had this talk with my daughter. I brought things up that I wanted to apolotize for - then apoloized to her. What surprized me was that it's not those things she remembers. The main theme to what she remembers was if I was "there" with her, or if she felt "unheard". What she told me means so much to her, still, is that she knew where I was and she knew she could come to me. She believes I have nothing to apologize for.
ReplyDeleteI just want to tell you that I miss you...and I watched your survivor story a while back and never left a comment about how much I miss you and love you! Email your phone number again- I'll try to call on a weekend soon!
ReplyDeleteyou absolutely deserve forgiveness. and to freely forgive yourself. loves to you!
ReplyDeleteLoved this. What a post. We've all been there.
ReplyDeleteSomedays all I can do is love my kids through the good, the bad, the dream, the reality, the successes and the failures. I'm hoping they'll do the same.
Beautiful post.
Of course she will! You're a good mom, Tracie. The love you have for your daughter shines through in your posts and photos. She will remember that love and so many other wonderful things.
ReplyDeletexoxo
This was so beautiful, I'm sending it to both my (grown) sons. I'm just sitting here bawling. You really know how to touch your readers, Tracie. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteSuch a wonderful and touching post. It's really great to read something like this. Thanks really for sharing these thoughts and of course you deserve forgiveness. :)
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you even think these things is evidence enough that you love your daughter more than she could possibly comprehend.
ReplyDeleteI will try to remember that when these thoughts invade my brain every night as my head hits the pillow.
(p.s. - you won the book giveaway :)
We all need forgiveness. I bet it will be learned due to the fact it is practiced.
ReplyDeleteOf course you will be forgiven. In fact, I bet most of these things aren't even noticed nor remembered. We moms can be too hard on ourselves sometimes.
ReplyDelete