"Kim, decide what you are going to say, quit being a wimp, and go for it."
"I am just going to sit down next to him on that awful orange couch and tell him...
tell him, uh....."
"Tell him how you hate that couch, and you only keep it around because he loves it so much. And you sit on it when he isn't here because it makes you think of him, and that day you spent together visiting estate sales?"
"No! I am not going to tell him that, because it sounds slightly insane, and possibly stalker-ish. Even though it is true.
I'm going to say, 'Jason, we have been friends for ten years. For a long time, that was enough, but for the past year, I have wanted more than just a friendship with you. I'm falling in love with you, and I need to know if you could ever feel the same way.' And I am going to say all of that while restraining myself from laughing nervously or throwing up on him mid-sentence. "
"You will not throw up.
He will say, 'Oh Kim. I love you too. All this time I have been afraid to hope that you felt the same way!'
and then he will kiss you."
"Or he will say, 'Oh Kim. I love you too. I really do, but not like that. I come around mostly for the couch, and because you get all the good tv channels.'
I will be crushed, and live alone with a large collection of cats."
"He is not going to say that."
"Probably not, but he might, I think I should be prepared."
"Kim, you can't live the rest of your life locked in this bathroom putting on yet another layer of lipstick and stuffing your true feelings in a box. You won't ever know how he feels if you don't talk to him, so why are you in here while he is out there?"
"Because I'm so much better in my mind than I am out loud. Because I can not seem to make my mouth say what my heart thinks when other people are around. That is why I am in here, staring at the mirror...talking to myself."
This week's prompt from the Red Dress Club is to write a piece in which you use ONLY dialogue.
Now with this one I thought maybe it WAS 2 people...until near the end :)
ReplyDeleteAren't those conversations we have with ourselves fabulous? Fictional or not.
Visiting from Red Dress Club
Oh lady, have I ever been there....sans the orange couch, of course.
ReplyDeleteNicely done!
loved this :)
ReplyDeleteI thought it was 2 people too, til I got closer to the end. This was so real. I think we've all had conversations like that with ourselves at some point.
ReplyDeleteGreat story!
Awesome! I thought this was one of those "we have to go the bathroom" conversations in restaurants where girls go to hash out the men.
ReplyDeleteThis was even better.
It was funny, thought-provoking, and it rang true.
I loved that cat line. It made me giggle.
Yay for doing this!
I too thought there were two people... I hope he loves her back and isn't there for the orange couch :)
ReplyDeleteWow Tracie just wow.. I was certain there was 2 people present.. LOVE IT..
ReplyDeleteWow! way to go, lady! I loved this.
ReplyDeleteI like this-clever, clever clever!!
ReplyDeleteI love that while she's talking to herself - even after you figure that out - you feel like she's completley sane. Bravo.
ReplyDeleteOh, I love this one. I want to know the outcome and what happens to the orange couch.
ReplyDeleteI liked it! Great job using a difficult prompt!
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Tracie!
ReplyDeleteI love the way you used fractured language...you wrote the way we all tend to actually speak: "I am just going to sit down next to him on that awful orange couch and tell him...tell him, uh....."
Nicely done! :)
oh my. You and Angel are on fire this week!
ReplyDeleteI think I should join up soon!
WTG!
I didn't know it wasn't two people talking til the end! Because it TOTALLY sounds like a girl convo. Loved it!
ReplyDeleteI too thought this was two people. I certainly wanted to know what happened next, 10 years is a long time to know someone and then fall in love with them, but I'm a sucker for the later love stories.
ReplyDeleteVery cute. i have these conversations, too.
ReplyDeletePrint it out and leave it on the couch. ;0
Hey you! You can write fiction, too! I love it. You did a great job with this. Goodness knows I've been there.
ReplyDeleteVery entertaining. Great job and I loved the twist!
ReplyDeleteVery good! Talking to yourself is therapeutic. I swear by it! ;)
ReplyDeleteLoved it. And the cat reference was to die for.
ReplyDeleteStopping by from trdc.
OMG! This was soooo good. Loved it. That ending liter rally made me say ohhhhhh. Great stuff! I hope she tells him!
ReplyDeleteGood job! I'm with everyone else. I thought it was two separate people until almost the very end.
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, I'm writing a novel and the plot is not far off from the type of relationship you wrote about here!
Whoa! I thought it was two people all the way to the end - fantastic job with the prompt!
ReplyDeletePerfect.
ReplyDeleteBecause who hasn't had the, "oh god, I have to tell him" conversation with their reflection?
Love it!
I thought it was 2 people until the end too!
ReplyDeleteGreat job.
It's always so much easier having a conversation with someone else in your own head. I do it all the time!
SO cool & very creative, tracie! thrilled you linked up and love the direction you took with it. FUN!
ReplyDelete;-)
You did a fabulous job with this! I LOL'ed at large collection of cats.
ReplyDeleteI should have tried this one. I totally suck at dialogue.
A big, me too, on thinking it was two people until the end. Really good. It flowed really well and sounded authentic. Really good. I hope she gets the nerve to tell him.
ReplyDeleteInteresting write Tracie. Good post. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteThe orange couch really sets it for me.
ReplyDeleteThis was great! I agree with you that "I am so much better in my mind than out loud." It always sounds so good when I say it in my head. Out loud, not so much.
ReplyDeleteHave you been snooping around in my brain when i wasn't looking? :D Captured a woman with a big crush perfectly!
ReplyDeleteThis was wonderful! I loved her dialogue with herself trying to talk herself into doing what her heart was telling her to do.
ReplyDeleteThis was fabulous, Tracie! I am ready to see this on a big screen.
ReplyDelete:-)
Traci