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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A Christmas Wish In An Alternate Universe

I feel that it is time I admit something to you. 

My secret longing. 

I can't think of a better time than Christmas to tell you my wish. 
The thing that I really want...but never admit out loud...




Sometimes I am in a store and I see the box.

It calls out to me.

I look around....

Is anyone watching?

No, it is safe.

An unseen force propels me towards the box. 

I pick it up.

I gaze longingly for a second...and then propelled back into reality, I put it down and walk away.


It is a Snuggie. 

I want a Snuggie.

I want to knit while wearing it.

Apparently I am 126 years old.



BUT WAIT!

THERE IS MORE!



You see, there is this other thing that I am drawn to in the store.

I pick it up and feel the softness.

I give it a little squeeze.


It is a Pillow Pet.

I want a Pillow Pet.

I want to cuddle with it, and I want it to be a unicorn.

Apparently I am 7 years old.


I have figured something out though, this is actually a good thing.

How, you ask...you just admitted a love for Snuggies and Pillow Pets...how is this a good thing?

I'm so glad you asked.

I believe if I cuddle my Unicorn Pillow Pet while wearing my Snuggie it will propel me into this alternate universe where my Snuggie Age is divisible by my Pillow Pet age.

This means that I will be 18 years old.

Which is really good....

because when I was 18, I totally could have pulled off those cute leggings I saw at the store the other day.

30 comments:

  1. roflmbo shhh but I want a Snuggie too. Cause I am lowering the temp in the house and I need it to keep warm while controlling the electric bill lol

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  2. Ha ha ha! I love it. I have a Snuggie and I love that thing. I hope you get both of your secret wishes for Christmas.

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  3. rofl!
    oh my.
    You and me both.
    EXCEPT my kids are ALL getting pillow pets this year for Christmas. And one of my kids is getting 2!
    (Maybe she'll share with me...lol.
    And a leopard snuggie.
    So I can still rock out and be WARM...
    bwahahahaha.
    Awesomely funny post.
    Check out my post.
    Free Santa pic.
    To 5 WINNERs.
    Santa caught near your Christmas tree.
    Cool huh?

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  4. I have a Snuggie. It is everything you dream it will be. And more. Also. My 7-year-old has a Pillow Pet. It is huggable, but using it as a pillow is not so great. Just a tip. ;-)

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  5. Let me tell you a secret. I have a pillow pet! :) Actually, I have several. I have an Eeyore, a puppy and a kitty. :)

    I do not yet have a Snuggie, but I think they look awesome. Maybe when I move I'll get one!

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  6. Awwwww this is such a precious post Tracie. The snuggie dream. Blessings.

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  7. bahahahaha!!!! love it!
    My hubs wants a snuggie & thats what he got for christmas lol

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  8. LOL! You can have one of our snuggies! We got about 5 of them last year, and I never even used mine.

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  9. Don't tell but I'd like a Snuggie, too. And if it would make me 18 again, that would be just awesome!

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  10. Reason #129 why we'd be great friends: I have a snuggie (& knit & love it) - I want a lamb pillow pit (I have actually told my family SOMEONE better get me one!) ... & forget leggings - go for JEGGINGS!!!! :)

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  11. I love this!!! Thanks for the laugh which I really needed. I love the Pillow Pet. I was drawn to them at the mall!!

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  12. ITS.SO.FLUFFY!!!

    I can't say as I want a snuggie, but the pillow pet is pretty cute!

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  13. LOL! Snuggies make me laugh! When I see commercials for them, I completely crack up. I hope your wishes come true this Christmas! :)

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  14. This post is perfection. And I'm pretty sure that deep inside? Every one of us wants a Snuggie.

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  15. ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D This is why I love you :)

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  16. My husband and I both want Snuggies but I'm too embarrassed to buy one here in town. It's like porn or something...I'll have to order them online.

    PS This post was very funny!

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  17. Girl, I have a leopard print snuggie and I love it! I got it for my 30th last year. My daughter got the unicorn pillow pet for hanukkah from my MiL and I bought the panda one for my son (even though he is a little old for it) for Christmas.

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  18. I've wanted a snuggie for a long time, but never bought one for myself. Then, this past October, for my birthday, a girlfriend gave me a snuggie! I was thrilled and they REALLY are soft. My Siamese cat loves to curl up on it Lol.

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  19. My request for Christmas:

    Please have Tracie write a book of short essays. Thank you.


    I agree with Snuggieporn. I want to buy, feel guilty for the desire, and in the end (thanks goodness), I don't buy. My name is Diana and I'm a snuggiewanter.


    diana (georgia)

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  20. Oh, this had me CRACKING up!

    My husband was using my son's pillow pet the other day. I really should have taken a pic.

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  21. That is my kind of math, lady! And you know? I had no idea what a snuggie was - thank you. The day was not a total waste, I learned something!

    And don't we all just want to surround ourselves with soft, cuddly things? I understand your secret longings.

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  22. this is sooo cute. Someone got me a snugglie b/c I'm always cold. I haven't used it yet. I hope you get one...and lots of snugglie type things...MERRY CHRISTMAS.

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  23. ♥♥♥Merry Christmas♥♥♥

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  24. You are adorable and hilarious!

    And 18, apparently!

    That's awesome.

    Merry Christmas, lovely you!

    I hope you got both gifts.

    I so do.

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  25. Tracie, I hope you had a good Christmas.

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  26. Tracie, YOU CRACK ME UP!
    Do you really want a Snuggie? I can sort of see the allure but I think I'd feel too much like a grammaw wearing one. hee hee

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  27. So....Did you get your snuggy?! You certainly were good enough this year! :)

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  28. Gurl, my mother got me a faux-Snuggie for Christmas, red with Scottish terriers on it. My no likey. I wish I could give it to you, but I have to save it and wear it when she comes to visit.

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