Where I Say Everything That I Was Thinking To My Husband

When my friend with the Cluttered Brain told me that I had better link up with What I Meant to Say this week, I was scared! I thought she might come after me with an empty bottle of Dr. Pepper or something. Eek! Just kidding, she is too sweet to do anything like that...but just in case I think I better do it! 

These are both stories that I have told before, but since they are still issues at my house, I thought today would be a great day to revisit them.

-My husband, Thomas sits down to the computer and starts playing with facebook (this is dangerous already) He reads someone's status update, and then I hear it, the click, click, click of the keyboard and the muffled chuckling.  "Honey, come look at this.  Read what I wrote-out loud, read it so that I can hear it.........isn't that funny?"  I respond, "okay, you can post that if you want to......"


What I meant to say.... "Did you take psycho pills this morning?  I know that person!  You are not actually going to post that craziness on their facebook page, are you?  Really!?! You know we might actually see that person again in real life.  Don't you think about these things?"

-Sometimes Thomas goes shopping.  Isn't that sweet? He loves to pick up little presents from the store, some flowers, a candy bar, cookies, cupcakes (just in case you didn't know, sugar is the way to my heart!) but sometimes he gets detoured in the clothing department.  I'm not sure why there isn't a woman working in department stores whose only job is to keep husbands out of the women's clothing department, but that is a subject for another day.  So, my husband comes home with this shirt - I really should have a picture of it here so that you could bask in the scariness, but I didn't take one.....just imagine with me the worst shirt you have ever seen in a store, or all the clothes that your grandma wore in 1982- Thomas says, "Here honey, I saw this and it was so pretty that I wanted to bring it to you.  Try it on and see if it fits"

I put on the shirt, place a smile on my face and say, "That was so sweet of you honey to bring me a shirt.  I think it might just be a little too small though, if I dry it in the dryer it will shrink.  I should probably take it back and see if I can get a size bigger."

What I meant to say......."I'm sorry, were you shopping for me or for your imaginary wife who is 95 years old.  I am not a grandma!  Why did you buy me this crazy, applicay-flowered mess.  On what planet are shoulder pads attractive in the year 2010?  I would never wear this in public!  I will, however take it back to the store, have a difficult time finding the rack it came on and replace it with a shirt that doesn't make me look like a crazy person"

I think I am happy this week with these two stories.  I will restrain myself from telling you that what I really mean to say to my husband when he invites me to play computer games with him is, "No I will not play World of Warcraft with you.  I do not want to be a troll.  I do not want to kill giant lizard thingys, and I will not hang out with your friends when all they talk about is how cool it is that they can turn into a bear.  If they want to be a bear, that is fine with me, as long as they are a bear.....way over there.........far away from me!"

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